• this is how i feel what about you…

    by  • April 8, 2018 • Disappointment • 0 Comments

    I want to be loved like in the movies, at this point i dont care if its real im already broke because i have seen the reality of it before i know what fake love, fake fuck is. false things, sights,people. but for me i wear my heart on my sleeve for anyone worth taking
    I cry inside and out, believe me my eyes are swollen and red from days on end tearing apart my worth to feel loved, killing my self esteem.
    I have a boyfriend.. kinda
    we dont sleep together like lovers
    but the other day we did and it wasn’t sweet.
    im not even sure if im mad or just hurt because i imagine a fantasy
    we lay in bed, he wants head.. i do it although i kinda wanna just cry into him, pour out my fear and frustration, that i feel completely broken
    it got rough, he knows i don’t mind
    but it didnt go further than that, he didnt pull out to cum
    i felt sad… especially when he told me he had girls swallow but it was oaky
    he never did that without my say. or if we had mentioned it.
    i thought maybe he will feel like a man and think im everything he wants tonight..
    i would live in that life for sure..
    but it ddnt feel right i felt out of place out of my heart
    not myself
    i love him, i want hm to lovemein the same crazy fucked up way
    can i get that love tonight…
    before i drink my thoughts away into a dark deep sleep
    i want to be adored by you

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