• To A

    by  • April 2, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, Forgiveness • 4 Comments

    The hurtful things you said and treated me .You will regret this everyday. You know you can take back what you said to me. You won’t. you know what you did was selfish and don’t want to swallow your pride.

    You need protection from yourself, not from other people and things. What you did to me, you did to yourself too.

    You said to me:
    “I don’t feel the same anymore”,
    “You are so immature”
    “I was afraid you were going to do that to me.”
    “I was being completely honest with you”
    “I will do anything it takes to make this work.”
    “I Love you.” “I will love you forever”
    “You showed me happiness i never felt before”
    “Forever”
    “I Miss you so much.”
    “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
    “I can’t wait to travel with you.”
    “I love you babe, forever and nothing is going to change that.”
    “Thank you for being in my life and for letting me be a part of yours”

    What you said to others about me:
    “It’s never going to happen.”
    “She was rude.”
    “She is special to me.”
    ” I love her.”
    “I don’t want to put her through this”

    What I said to others about you:
    ” I know he doesn’t mean it”
    “I just don’t understand?”
    “Why would he treat me this way?”
    “No, he is not a bad person.”
    “He is hurt and he doesn’t want anyone to know what the true reason is. He is afraid of anyone finding out the truth. he would never want to hurt me”
    “i Know him, this is not him.”
    ” I love him, he is the love of my life.”
    “He is so smart, he makes me happy and he makes me laugh.”
    “He reminds me how special I am.”
    ” I love him and i am grateful that he is in my life.”

    Yes, i stood behind you and in front and defended you. After how you broke up with me and treat me to this
    day.

    What I said to you:
    “Your the love of my life”
    ” I love you so much.”
    “I love you more”
    “You make me happy.”
    “Dont ever talk to me again”
    “Was there someone else?”
    “I’m sorry, i should have not said something out of anger.”
    ” are you ok?”
    I “I love you with all of my heart”

    You don’t need to think about all of this. You need to do something now. I was honest and continue to be honest.

    Oh and this is great: not even a minute later…You said, “I would love to meet up with you guys.” “But things are getting kind of serious with someone.” They asked you, “Did you cheat on her?” Your answer, “She is special to me.” Were you being completely honest?” She knows about me and has tried to contact me. Were you being completely honest with her too?

    I forgive you. I ask you to forgive me too. Please show me that you forgive me. Do you think what I am asking for is un-reasonable?

    After one year of no contact and acting like ghost. I reached out by email and you answered. Thank you.But the walls were up and you were ready to give rehearsed words on what you were going to say, You care about me very much.BUT…you told me and got defensive. That was a long time ago.

    I never asked you for a relationship.Its called Love,

    You need to forgive me. Release the secrets and you will be relieved. . Release us of the past. Release me, release yourself of pushing it down. It won’t ever go away, until you are honest and tell the truth to me. Or that darkness will grow and grow, its hard to get out of there, you were there before and you told me about it . Did you try to put me there?

    Either way, I need the truth from you. I would rather have you tell me and not find out from someone else. We will see each other again due to the connection you have with my family and I don’t want them to feel bad anymore about what happened with you and I. I would rather show them we are good.

    All in or all out. There is no half way.

    If you never want to see me again, or talk to me or for me to reach out to you ever again. Then tell me. It will be hard to keep that promise, but I will. If you do tell me that, I can promise you will regret it.

    I won’t regret anything.. People only regret when you don’t do anything or did something wrong and didn’t mean it and didn’t fix it.

    People think you really don’t care about me or even loved me and possibly hate me..By the way you have been acting like we were never together. I was never you girlfriend. That is what they perceive, but is that reality? is that the truth? They are not listening to your words, just your actions.

    I hope they are not right. I don’t want them to be right. If they are, i will swallow my pride and apologize, ask forgiveness for not believing them and trusting them. I’ll show them how sorry I am and make it up to them.

    I sent you a email today. Let’s talk and be open. We can even talk in person.

    Speak to you soon.
    The Love of your life

    4 Responses to To A

    1. There are no words left but
      April 5, 2018 at 11:59 am

      to a , I dont exist. Im dead to you

    2. Karma will give them what they served...
      April 24, 2018 at 7:56 pm

      @ OP Take that ALL back only good can come from this.

      if they don’t then it will come around to them 3 times more that this hurt you.
      karma …

      • Karma
        July 8, 2018 at 8:16 pm

        @Karma you are right. The OP A to whom it is written to. This is something that is happening and will continue. I don’t wish this on anyone, regardless of how they treat you.

        @A my OP Never going happen? Take that back. KARMA will happen. It is unfortunate that you will have to experience even once the amount of pain you caused with your words and actions to me, my loved ones and yourself. You claim that you had no choice but to handle the breakup like you did? Would you accept that from someone if they did that to you? I know that you wouldn’t and I don’t accept that choice you made either.

        I have many choices on how I am now dealing with the “aftermath” I choose to forgive and have empathy for you. The pain, embarrassment, guilt, regret and remorse you are going through and choosing now is something EVERYONE SEE’s and knows by your actions/words. You choose not to see it. You think, no never no one would find out or know the truth? You can hide from me, cut me, ghost me, hide your feelings but you cannot or never hide from yourself or KARMA.

        I am asking you, please take it all back. It’s never too late if you do choose to do something, can’t change what happened but can choose to change your karma moving forward.

        Never going to happen? Never, say never. Something will happen. You already got your first dose of Karma from her and her friend. I guess that was getting kind of serious too? Oh but you will show them. I will remove them from my social media…that actually shows them you care! Take the time to remove them? Do you think they really care? Do I care?i thought i never would but I did. You care too, care enough. That is completely honest.

    3. Sounds like a narcissist..sad Op
      May 12, 2018 at 6:44 pm

      Sounds so familiar. Don’t tolerate abusive behavior like this. They probably don’t realize the damage they cause. When you ghost someone especially after you try take amends,and understand. IT’S NOT YOU.. FEEL SORRY FOR PEPPLE WHO ARE MESSED UP.

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