• I am deeply in love with you.

    by  • April 2, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 6 Comments

    Hold that posture. The breath will come. I already know that no combination of words will ever do this one the Justice it deserves. You could call it a deep admiration. You could call it a soulful appreciation. In an ideal world these descriptors would suffice and I wouldn’t miss you at a cellular level.

    Familial love. I only want you to be happy. This is a lie I repeat to myself to prevent the whole-body body-ache of divergent decisions from running the show as I do all the things I’m supposed to with tearful oxidation and vanity. I didn’t know you were missing until I found you. I rarely even know it explicitly. It follows me around all day like a lost child or that aging inability to recall the last item on your to-do list for weeks.

    The self-limitation of a mantra of responsibility—Don’t ask. Don’t want. Don’t need. And if you do, don’t say anything about it. It isn’t proper. It isn’t a becoming component of adulthood. She has things. You have things. You could go up the hill everyday and knock on the door but what would they think?

    “When I was walking up the stairs,
    I met a man who wasn’t there.
    He wasn’t there again today.
    I wish, I wish he’d go away.”

    I do. And I don’t know how, but I will. Until then, I will take this isolated moment to say it but once—help me. When you are ready, help. Reach. Please. Because I will grab and never let go … but I need your permission first.

    6 Responses to I am deeply in love with you.

    1. Me
      April 2, 2018 at 12:51 pm

      And this whole time, I thought I needed yours…………


    2. Just me
      April 2, 2018 at 7:13 pm

      Lovely writing – this is one I will re-read many times over.

    3. I am deeply in love with you as well.
      April 3, 2018 at 7:55 pm

      You have my permission.

      • Chasing this comment.
        April 5, 2018 at 8:25 am

        Please tell me that this is you, my ridiculous idea. Fan girl continues to interlope despite my efforts.

    4. Confusing timestamp?
      April 5, 2018 at 8:32 am

      Took a personal day to alleviate some sleep deprivation.

    5. Question.
      May 21, 2018 at 12:37 pm

      Scientist, did you author this letter?

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