I cried this morning again. I thought i as done crying over you but i guess Im not. Im not sure I ever will be. I think I was upset this morning realizing that we really are over.You aren’t going to come back and give me another chance. I have learned so much from this loss and I realize this may be what we both really did need. We are in different points in our lives and should be focused on ourselves at this point. We both have some serious growing up to do and learning. I’ve heard it from so many people that we need to love ourselves before we love someone else. I don’t think either one of us truly loved ourselves for differing reasons such as trust or drinking. I love you, I still do and at this point I fear I will always love you. I keep reading google search results and I laugh thinking maybe one day life will workout and you can shame me for googling. I just love you so much and losing you has been hard because I didn’t just lose the love of my life, but I also lost my best friend. I miss you and I hope you are doing well. I have accepted the break up though and seeing it positively not just from an everything happens for a reason perspective. Rather, a this is for the best at this time in our lives for the both of us. As I said, we both have so much growing up to do and should be focused on ourselves, our studies and our careers. However, it still pains me that I am no longer your cheerleader of support and you mine. I wish I could be there for you through the triumphs, downfalls, successes and shitty days. It may sound silly but I have this hinge of hope that you are the one. That this is not really the end of our story. I keep hoping that every day brings us closer to being together again and living this life and growing and sharing a life together. I still see a future with you and I know that’s still what I want. I hope you will come back, you realize you miss me, you realize I understand my mistakes and have grown and will work every day to be the person I want to be and the person you need and deserve. I love you.