We’ve been together for seven years, got married a whole year ago. You are my first boyfriend, meaningful kiss, sexual partner, everything. We got together before my 14th birthday. And now you want to move on?
I guess I understand, but can I get an honest answer from you? If you want a divorce, okay. If you don’t want to try and work this out, okay. Just know that I want to work on this. I forgive you, because getting drunk and kissing a chick at the bar, I don’t consider that infidelity, just human error, but I also have a very liberal view on life.
I don’t know what to do, or say, to help you forgive yourself, if that’s really what is going on in your mind, but telling me that you won’t be mad if I move on while you need your space isn’t right. Seven fucking years is a long time and the feelings I hold won’t be erased or forgotten so easily. At this point, since we are only doing lunch once or twice a week, I just want to sit on the couch with a big tub of vanilla bean ice cream and indulge myself in self loathing.
I think I’m holding myself together pretty well, most people can’t or refuse to see past the facade of me being okay. Putting on a brave face, smiling, pushing everything to the back of my mind until I have five minutes to myself. I want to desperately work this out, but since you seem to enjoy the time away, my confidence is deteriorating by the day.
I’m sorry, I know that this situation is also my own doing. We are both to blame. Just know that I love you, and I’m hopeful that we can work it out.
-Your Wife, A.C.