• A fear

    by  • March 22, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, Fear • 0 Comments

    I fear that I’m going to be spending this magical night hidden away. To be chased away, cowering because of a “friend” who I thought I would never see again. I never realized I was being almost oppressed by her very presence until the moment she left, from then on I was as happy as I could be. But then she comes back, on the night I wanted to remember for the rest of my life, and now I cower. Hidden. Afraid. In my beautiful dress, I will cower in the bathroom stalls until the night is over, trying to stop the tears from ruining my makeup or my hands from destroying my beautifully curled hair. Telling myself that it will be alright and soon I can walk out and be with my group of friends and she will be there but it will be ok and it will be ok. But the night ends, and I have yet to fulfill the promise. The promise about that damn photo that I missed at the end of our last school ball in middle school. And I promised, promised I would be part this year but I fear that I won’t be able to. That I’ve hidden myself away. I fear that I won’t go to the pre-prom party, fearing that she will be there and I will be spending the few hours before the magical night preparing myself to face her, to face him. To face them. Spending times where I should be having a good time with my friends to trying to mentally prepare myself instead and I am so frightened that this night will be nothing but a waste of time and money, that all my efforts are for naught. And that nothing good will come of this night and that I wish it would become a night that I would want to forget and that makes me so afraid.

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