I’m so glad you don’t come here. I’d be embarrassed even though I’ve been so open with you through texts. You are coming November 13 this fall. I’m scared I will fall all over again when I see you. I have had so many dreams of you it’s weird.
There is another guy on here who I have been trying reach, but then I got a message from him that he is with her. I guess it’s over even though if he came back I’d be too weak to say no, because I care about him deeply and I’ve always imagined myself with him.
Then there is the fact that you might be single and I’m single. If we actually see each other I’m not sure how I would act since it’s been a few years since I last saw you. I’ve come along way since our last meeting. I finally love myself and can love others the right way. It’s taken me a while to figure that one out.
Part of me thinks we are so different that we would never work out. But then there is another part of me that wants things to finally work out between us. November is a long way off, but it gives me hope that someday I might be with you or with someone that I’m attracted to in every way, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically.
I never told you but I’ve had so many dreams of you. Almost every night. It’s weird and they have always been with you and me in them with our families. One of them I was walking down the aisle towards you in a white dress. Weird huh?! I know dreams never come true like that, but it felt so real.
Some things that you do makes me wonder if you are about me. That would be so surreal.
You don’t even know that I talked with your brother a few weeks ago. His writing lifted me up when I was feeling depressed. He is such a down-to-earth kind of guy. You are lucky he is your brother.
In any case we shall see what the spring brings, summer, and then fall I see you. You will probably have a girlfriend by then, but if you don’t then let’s see where this leads.