Im sorry Ive never been what you wanted.
Im sorry Im not hot enough for you.
Im sorry Im not cool enough for you.
Im sorry I must have annoyed you so much in first grade that you had to leave me an anonymous note in my desk saying “I hate you and hope you die.”
Im sorry I was boring you when we made out when I was 15.
Im sorry you had to go to the dance with me because your parents made you.
Im sorry you had to go to the dance with me so your best friend could go with my friend.
Im sorry I didn’t fight those four guys at Dennys that emasculated me in front of you.
Im sorry Im such a little pussy ass bitch.
Im sorry I wasn’t cool with you experimenting with other girls instead of hooking up with me.
Im sorry I asked you to that dance, that you must have been so uninterested in going to that you had to bail hours before the dance and not bother telling me.
Im sorry my depression is just ‘too much’ for you.
Im sorry I thought youd give me a second chance, just once.
Im sorry I thought youd give me a first chance.
Im sorry Im not more experienced and sex makes me nervous.
Im sorry for never understanding that your life is so much more important than my own.
Im sorry for never understanding that only you are entitled to forgiveness.
Im sorry for thinking my persistence would appear romantic, and not creepy.
Im sorry for not ‘trying hard enough’ when you were playing hard to get.
Im sorry for not understanding that “Don’t fucking look at me, don’t fucking say my name.” is code for “Keep going buddy, youre almost there!”
Im sorry for thinking you liked me because you replied to my text.
Im sorry for burdening you with a “Hi hows it going” text that you would never be able to respond to.
Im sorry that my attention is only good enough to keep you amused til you find the next guy you want to be with.
Im sorry I ever thought I was special to you.
Im sorry that the idea of having sex with me must be so revolting.
Im sorry I cant understand why youd rather have sex with all those other hot guys with cool cars instead.
Im sorry I tend to be so passive-aggressive.
Im sorry I actually told you how I felt. How dare I!
Im sorry I believed in you for so long when it should have been clear that you had no interest in me.
Im sorry I thought someone would ever love me just the way I am.
Actually, I am ‘sorry’, but I am not “sorry”.
Fuck you. I fucking hate you. How is that for direct bitch?