• Last Time

    by  • March 17, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, Goodbye • 0 Comments

    Dear friend, me again. I’ll skip the whole “I’ll write this letter but god forbid you ever find it” because realistically speaking, I don’t think you will find it. And quite honestly, even if you did, would you know that it was me? Chances are quite low, my friend. Anyway, I think this is the last time I’ll be writing you these letters because quite frankly I am tired. After finally admitting these emotions a few days ago after having denied and ignored them for months and months on end, I have realized that some things really are better off ignored and undisturbed. My emotions for you being one of them. They’re not doing me any good, they won’t do you any good, it is doing no good. SO, obviously it should be banished, gone, vanish, disappear, murder, if you will. They are stupid and unnecessary. Is this another form of denial? Probably but you know what? I don’t actually care anymore. I do not enjoy this and I don’t have the time of day to be wallowing in self pity or thinking about you. I’m moving anyway so if by some miracle something did happen, it would all be for naught. So, I’ll skip this whole “feelings for you” thing and just live on as normal, or at least as normal as I can. I’m not interested being the butt of a joke or having such one sided feelings, I refuse to let myself succumb to that. So before this develops even further, or me to realize even further, I’ll pull the plug and just let it end. And so, dear friend, as much as I don’t want to say “goodbye” I do think its best if I distance myself from you for a little bit just so that I can regain my composure and hopefully by then these feelings will go away and that we can be the way we were before. You are someone who is very precious to me, you are one of my closest friends and there is no absolute fucking way that I would take such a risk and have you finding out I fell for you. I’m not willing to risk that. I will bury these emotions, keep them locked, and forget all about them. I want to say I’ll “see you later” but as I have previously mentioned, I’d rather not. Instead, I will say, “until we meet again” hoping that when we do, that I have returned back to normal.

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