• My Light in the Dark

    by  • March 7, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, Miss You • 6 Comments

    Dear Llama,

    I love you and miss you so much. Some times so much that it hurts.

    You are the closest friend I have ever had. Some times the world seems so dull and flat without that connection. I have my siblings, and they mean the world to me, but its not the same as having someone I genuinely want and look forward to talking with every day. There are a few people I call friends but none of them can hold a candle to what you are to me.

    Even if by some chance we did reconnect I know we could never have what we did before. Time changes people, I know I’ve changed and I’m sure you have too. But I can’t stop hoping I’ll be able to find someone with whom I can feel free to be myself without fear, as I was with you. I hope you have someone in your life who shines as brightly in the dark as you did for me.

    All my love,
    Sloth

    6 Responses to My Light in the Dark

    1. Love B to a V
      March 7, 2018 at 10:04 pm

      I hope you find someone you can be yourself with like you were allowed to be with me. I hope you find someone you can fully trust. I just can’t show you how much I love you and how much you could trust me on this site you’ve only given me to communicate. I don’t open doors that others shut. You shut the door on us and I love you enough to respect that. My calls were left unanswered, my texts ignored. Even the letters I’ve written here have gone to a blind eye. I can’t love someone who won’t let me love them. Although I love you more than you will ever know it does no good if they don’t aknowlede it. I’ve told you you could open the door you shut, but you refuse to do it. I think your right when you say you have to cut all ties emotionally and electric wise. I have no reason to open a door you shut. For all I know you shut the door to make others happy. If I were to open it, it could cause you much troubles. I just don’t want to cause you trouble. I love you that much. I mourn the loss of you. I wish we could be a part of each others lives. It just wouldn’t be worth causing you trouble and heartache. Go find someone you trust and will let in. Go find someone who doesn’t scare you. I’ve already accepted I’m not enough for such a beautiful woman. You will always have a part of my heart. I want someone who isn’t scared of my love. I will find the connection again and I’m sure you will also. You will always be the most gorgeous person I have ever met. I feel blessed to have gotten to know you…
      Goodbye my girl and I do understand.

      Love you gorgeous and may you find what your. Love B

      • Sloth
        March 18, 2018 at 9:27 am

        B,

        I hope V finds this one day and will be able to remember you with fondness, even if she can’t do so right now.

        Letting go and saying goodbye is never easy. I’ve written a few goodby letters myself, and there are some that I never wrote but wish I had. I’ve shut people out too, the way V has, because I didn’t know how to say goodby. I’ve gotten better at it, and I hope V can learn too so that she doesn’t unintentionally hurt others as I know I have done.

        More than that, I hope you find someone who doesn’t make you feel like you’re trouble or not enough. You are enough, B. We all have room to grow, but you should never feel that the person you are now is unworthy. I hope you can find someone who makes feel like that, but also gives you the strength to grow into the person you want to be.

        All the best wishes to you, B.

        Sincerely,
        Sloth

    2. Anon
      March 8, 2018 at 3:37 am

      Initials of OP please? I can respond with my initials if it’s them….

      • Sloth
        March 15, 2018 at 7:22 pm

        RA or RMA if you want to include the middle initial. I’m sorry I didn’t check this sooner.

    3. just saying
      March 13, 2018 at 9:48 pm

      Did you ever consider being your person’s light in the dark?

      • Sloth
        March 18, 2018 at 8:32 am

        Oh absolutely. I was merely expressing how much I miss having a connection of that depth with someone while at a particularly low moment myself. Llama was also the one person who’s conversation I sought out during the year I was suicidal, she kept me going. I know I do the same for my siblings and vice versa, we’ve been through a lot together and individually, but it’s not quite the same as having that in a friend.

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