Here I am
I have moments that come and I just feel moved again by you.
You’re like a hurricane and send a wave of emotion crashing into me.
I’m always puzzled by you.
I don’t think I could tally up the amount of times my heart has held out hope for you and it’s been let down.
I always thought that one day we would speak again.
I always thought that one day you would reach out to me. I think maybe you did some time ago and maybe I didn’t make enough effort. I was unsure of your intentions. It’s a shame.
I now hear your name sometimes and yes it makes me think you, but it’s not the same. It’s now almost just a name. A person that I haven’t met before as opposed to a memory of someone I knew.
I wish it wasn’t like this, but it isn’t my choosing.
You chose to walk away and shut me out forever.
Prior to that you taught me to be strong and that remains with me, but sometimes I falter and I wish you were there.
I feel so stupid getting upset when I think about it.
I just feel at a loss. I feel like I’ve been grieving a long time for someone that isn’t actually gone, but has just gone from me.
Do you ever think about me?
There’s so much stuff I wish I could tell you, so much stuff I wish I could talk to you about, I hoped you would let me confide in you.
Maybe you just don’t want to hear it, you don’t want to know anything from me.
That’s the message I got the first time anyway.