• Back again..

    by  • March 5, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 11 Comments

    Here I am
    Back again
    I have moments that come and I just feel moved again by you.
    You’re like a hurricane and send a wave of emotion crashing into me.
    I’m always puzzled by you.
    I don’t think I could tally up the amount of times my heart has held out hope for you and it’s been let down.
    I always thought that one day we would speak again.
    I always thought that one day you would reach out to me. I think maybe you did some time ago and maybe I didn’t make enough effort. I was unsure of your intentions. It’s a shame.

    I now hear your name sometimes and yes it makes me think you, but it’s not the same. It’s now almost just a name. A person that I haven’t met before as opposed to a memory of someone I knew.
    I wish it wasn’t like this, but it isn’t my choosing.
    You chose to walk away and shut me out forever.
    Prior to that you taught me to be strong and that remains with me, but sometimes I falter and I wish you were there.
    I feel so stupid getting upset when I think about it.
    I just feel at a loss. I feel like I’ve been grieving a long time for someone that isn’t actually gone, but has just gone from me.

    Do you ever think about me?

    There’s so much stuff I wish I could tell you, so much stuff I wish I could talk to you about, I hoped you would let me confide in you.
    Maybe you just don’t want to hear it, you don’t want to know anything from me.
    That’s the message I got the first time anyway.

    11 Responses to Back again..

    1. Kronk
      March 5, 2018 at 11:09 am

      To someone that I love.

      Is that you or not?
      I don’t care. Anyway, this is my story.
      I’ve been thinking about you like everyday.
      Since I was separated from you, there are moments when I will just curled up in the bed and then cried. Cried because I miss you too.

      Yes, I tried already to reach you. By what? By many messages which you don’t even reply by yourself until I stop doing that. Also by codes if you do really realize that.

      I just wish that you will know and you will just understand because what we need right now is understanding to each other.

      Make your first move. It doesn’t matter if it’s me or someone else. If I’m mistaken then let me be and I’m sorry.

      Encourage yourself if you do really want to be brave and real.

      “Even if someone seems like don’t care nor don’t want to hear anything from you, sometimes all that you need is giving up yourself for bravery in order to reach succeed. Brave is worth it. If they do not response, you don’t lose nothing. Oh yes, you do actually. You lose your burden.

      • @ Kronk
        March 8, 2018 at 5:14 pm

        @ Kronk,

        If that is your real name? While I don’t think I’m your person, and I don’t know your situation. And I don’t mean to be rude, but I would like to offer some suggestions: One, if you haven’t already – try reaching out to your person in another way (like picking up the phone or something). Two, if you haven’t already – stop using code names and/or writing in code. And lastly, if you haven’t already done those two things – then you should be brave & real with your person; don’t ask someone to do something you’re not willing to do as well.

    2. Anon
      March 5, 2018 at 2:33 pm

      I know you’re not my person (S) but I feel the same way as you do about them and it kills me a little inside.

      • Everlasting regret
        March 10, 2018 at 8:08 am

        Shit i’m an S and this gives me false hope :S

        • Redstringoffate
          March 13, 2018 at 6:26 am

          Me too????

    3. Redstringoffate
      March 5, 2018 at 4:44 pm

      If this is my person. I got a pinky tat in reminder of you. Please try again. I will accept. We need to talk. Love S.

    4. Of course ,
      March 7, 2018 at 2:58 pm

      I always think of you. You, stuck to my heart like one of those blackcurrant gums you used to chew. Can’t shake it off . I see you , you know. Don’t think that I don’t , my heart would recognise you even if I was blind but I carry on holding up the silence, because at the end of it all its all I have. Pain too, its too painful to open up my heart again, I locked that place a long time ago when I gathered its contents, locked it and threw away the key. Its hollow and empty . The dust collects and escalates , there are only little crumbs left deteriorated and hardened and sometimes if Im lucky, I water it with my tears so it softens, but only sometimes. Its a big place to fill and you are ….far too big to be replaced so ‘he takes another place’ …in it.

      Grief. Silent killer. I am silenced forever. So should you be , because I deserve at least that much respect after all.
      I can hardly say we are the same people we were once, but on a rainy day I smile , when I see you from afar . Your silhouette moving , your footsteps familiar your head high and right too. I smile because , my heart knows. My heart knows.

      If only eh…..

    5. @ author
      March 8, 2018 at 10:19 pm

      Yes, I think about you; I never stopped.

    6. A
      March 10, 2018 at 1:40 am

      J… Was this you?
      I want to talk. I miss you. You were my best friend before, and I hope I was yours. We could be that again. Of course I love you, and it would be hard, but I want you in my life.
      I miss you.
      Please. I’ve reached out to you, reach out to me the same way.
      I reached out on 08/02/18. If this is you, that’s a date that means something. Reach out to me the same way. Please. I beg you.

      From your old princess

      • Future Girl
        March 13, 2018 at 5:26 pm

        You mean you WILL reach out on 8-02-18?

    7. White flag
      March 13, 2018 at 3:01 am

      @ author

      I always felt that it was the other way around – that you didn’t think about me. After I stayed over, it took you two weeks to contact me, and so I was unsure of you intentions. I realize that I was rude to you and I am sorry about that. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just couldn’t tell if you were contacting me for the right reasons. I’m having trouble falling asleep tonight. I am sorry for my part in all this back and forth nonsense. I really think it is time to call a Truths, don’t you? I want peace and happiness. Yes, I think we need to resolve some of the past – but I think it needs to be done with a common goal in mind, and that is reconciliation. You know how to reach me, if you so choose.

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