It’s like, the moment or the time I think we’re good, something new comes up that causes me to really think about my decision. And I’m thinking about it so much.
Today, you once again expressed your displeasure that I want 2 children, and you just want 1. You say it’s not because you have one already – you just prefer 1. But I think you’re lying. And I’m angry.
It makes sense to me for us to have 2 children – they’ll have a playmate, and it’ll be less likely that the children will be lonely. I told you, if we had your daughter with us, having just 1 would make sense. But we don’t, and so long as your ex is alive and breathing, we won’t. So having 2 makes sense.
Also, it would be great if we could have one child that’s a girl, and one that’s a boy. I would prefer a girl – I know you’d prefer a boy, since you have a girl already. And I think I would be extremely unsatisfied if we only had one child, and it was a boy. Therefore, with having 2 children, there’s at least 1 chance that we’ll get 1 male and 1 female.
But you don’t care.
Why the hell do women always have to succumb to men’s wants and needs? Why are men such fucking babies if they don’t get their way?
I read a story of a woman who was in the same situation as me – she wanted 2, hubby wanted 1. A child was born, and he was great with the first. She got pregnant again, and he didn’t do much with the second, because he didn’t want it.
Why do men get to do that? I’m so angry.
I bend over fucking backways for you. You already have a child, a baby mom who is crazy as shit. You don’t even fucking give head.
I want 2 children, which just makes sense in so many ways.
Why the fuck must this be a struggle?
And then you told me today, if I want another child, then another man can give it to me.
Really? That’s not funny.
And then when I mention I’m not going to be having children by 2 different fathers, you say you’ll sign divorce papers if you have to.
I just changed my last name to yours a couple of weeks ago. Maybe I changed it too soon.
I surely don’t want you to have a child you don’t want. But this is stupid. If I had known, I would’ve found someone who was more open.
In fact, if I could do this again, I’d find someone with no children, and who at least gives head, and would enjoy exploring my whole body, not just certain parts. Oh, and definitely someone with a higher libido.
I’m going to keep thinking about this. But in the meantime, just know that I’m not giving you any children at all…