Dear K. – The New Mrs… Im sorry. I am truly sorry for trying to disturb your peace. You have never hurt me, never disrespected me or caused me any harm. I on the other hand have haunted you, tried so hard to hate you and wish you away. I’m sorry. You see, you have the man I think I once loved, i am not too sure it was true love anymore.. You see, the man that is now your husband i once had dreams and a future planned with him. The man that you love taught me and gave so much and also took so much away from me. Sometime it was intentionally and sometime it was my fault. You see K, I gave him that power, my young 18 year old self gave him that power, my naive and heartbroken, bitter and obsessive 28 year old continued to give him that power. I, for the last 10 years have blamed your husband for everything good and everything bad in my life. I knew you would eventually come into his life, i wished for you and I also damned the day you did. You see, i had this hope / dream deep deep down that he would eventually come back to me. After everything, i sort of wanted him back. But he never came, although i knew he was not going to, and that we are not meant to be, my pride and ego wanted him to come crawling back to me. I am glad he didn’t, I am deep down glad he found you. Sounds a bit insincere i know, but if only you knew my thoughts towards all the other women that “graced” his life. You see K, I always knew he would marry “again” – i was hoping it would be to an ugly ghetto unaccomplished girl, but that is not the case. I know nothing about you, but you seem like a funny chick, pretty and driven. With a career of your own. A woman that will lift this man, your man. For the past 9 years; from the sideline I’ve seen him struggle and beg for love, but with you.. with you its different. It seems like he wants to be worthy of you. I am glad you are a private social media person, in a way that has saved my sanity. That is not to say, I don’t envy you. I do, I envy that he picked you over me, that he proudly wears your ring, you know his family and he wanted to marry you. I am mad you get to give him everything I wanted to give him. You also give me hope. Hope that, if he found his someone I will too. He is not easy to love, be patient with him. Teach him better, take him out of his comfort zone and challenge him. Make him a better man, a better father. Make him happy K, keep making him happy. When you called me on his behalf i wanted you to be rude to me so I would have a reason to dislike you but I think in a way We are very similar. That makes me a little happy, it makes me think I had a little of an influence on him, a little bit of positive influence in his life forever. I hope he is good to you. Respects you, loves you and provides for you. I hope you don’t shed a tear wondering that he is up to or with who. Although in heart beat I would kiss his lips one last time, I won’t – ill let him be. You my dear, you don’t deserve the pain, neither did I but that is not your fault. I hope you are a little proud of me, the first woman that carried the C last name and I hope you are thankful that I have not and I vow to not interfere with your marriage. I promise i am trying, I want to let you guys go and be happy, ill try harder.