How long will it take to cool the fever in my blood – or is it my brain? I think about you all the time, but I don’t even know what to think. I just know that I want to spend more time with you, talk about more with you, become closer… Today we had some time, almost alone, and it felt like we were starting to get a little deeper than usual, but then my phone would interrupt us. A bit frustrating – of course, so is watching you (and others) make such an effort to be helpful and to have it all in vain. Maybe you really had intended to stay that late and weren’t just there out of concern for my welfare, but it was heart-breakingly endearing nonetheless.
It’s probably for the best that we don’t get more time alone together. I have no idea if you feel anything at all for me. I’d like to call what I feel for you “friend-love” – I truly do want friendship with you – but I can hardly classify what I feel as platonic. There’s far more passion in it than I’ve ever felt for anyone else. And that’s a huge problem – for me. I don’t want to make it a problem for you.
But I still, always, want more – more of you.