I know this is goodbye. You are with her now and I’m happy for you. I probably will never marry. I won’t tell you why, because you won’t want to hear it. I’m moving soon. This year will be the last time I’m at the state fair.
I can’t stay here. Not with all the memories of you and I here and bumping into you with her. I couldn’t bear it. I know you would never believe that I care but I always have.
I will always look at a tall guy and think of you. I will always regret that I wasn’t enough for you to make a move. I really don’t want to marry now or ever anymore. I waited for you to make a move since 2011. You never did. I got tired of waiting and dated online with some guys, and wrote to other ones but they never worked out and I always came back to thinking of you.
I always come back to you. But it’s really over this time as you said you are with her now. You chose her and not me. It hurts. I’m not sure why. I’m applying for a job in Texas. I might end up near family in another state if that doesn’t work out.
Anywhere really to get away from running into you and feeling the old feelings again and knowing that any moment you will kiss her in front of me. I couldn’t bear to see that. I know you probably hate me now and I will always wish that we could have ended things on a better note.
I will continue reading and writing here as an outlet for things that happen in my life, but I understand if you don’t write here anymore. I just wish you didn’t hate me….
I think I’m going to get off the online dating sites too. I think I’ve finally realized what I just lost and there is no point in searching anymore, because what I lost is with someone else. I feel like crying. But none of it will bring you back. A friend of mine just showed up to go to a volleyball game.
I will always regret not fighting harder for you or not being loyal for 8 years. This is the end of our love story and I’ve lost the one man who could have been my better half.