• I had to go

    by  • February 19, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, Breaking Up • 0 Comments

    Darling, it hurts so much but I had to go.
    You were there but you were never really there. You didn’t like me, you liked the idea of bragging about me with friends. In the end to you I was only a projection of her. In all the time I have known you, her ghost has haunted us. Before it was the break up, now it’s the fact that you have cut all ties with her. But in the end, I was always the one who had to show patience through all the frustration and at some point I came to realize that enough was enough. Cutting all contact is an harsh way and it’s really not my style, but I knew you would’ve find a way to fool me, because I am always a bit too soft and less rational than I would like to be when it comes to you.
    I know you’re out partying, I know you wanted to see our mutual friend mostly to try and understand my behavior, I recognize your social media signs. But that’s not enough. You are troubled and I am sorry I can’t help, but I couldn’t even when I tried.
    I’ll never tell you that I miss you a lot, that I think about you constantly and that the pain of the past two days has been excruciating. I’ll never tell you that I have been leaning towards your side of the bed and hugging the pillow as if it was you. You’ll only get the harsh side of me. But that’s a very harsh work for me and you will have to do some very harsh word if you’ll ever want to tear down this wall. Now, you obviously haven’t, but I have this feeling in my gut that it’s not over, so I am waiting for the next move.
    For me you’re the nice-looking douchebag in a shirt I couldn’t stand but I couldn’t stop staring at. I wish you would still be hooked on me like that day, but unfortunately I know it was all a phase and a lie.
    Go on partying, god knows what you have to celebrate.
    As per me, I have to go, and I’ll pray that you’ll be alright someday.

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