If I could I would tell you how I miss our friendship. I know we are friends now, but I mean what we had. What we have now is almost fake feeling. It’s like we just show each other our surface selves. Ii want to break open my shell again for you and be able to really talk to you. I want you to do the same for me. I want this piece of glass between us to shatter and to be exposed to each other’s touch, each other’s illness, each other’s embrace, and each other’s voice.
Does that make any sense at all?
I miss you, my Dearest friend.
But I wasn’t allowed to keep you, for whatever reason. Tell me, did I do something wrong? Did I mess up everything for good somehow? What mistake did I make? Is it what I think it was? Did I go too far? Or did I just get too close, and it scared you or made you uncomfortable?
Can we try the friend thing again please? I will try to control myself better this time. I don’t want to hurt you, but I want you to know my truth.
I understand that you fear attachment. I know. Do what you need to do to keep yourself safe, but know that I am already attached.
We can take it as slow as you need. I promise I won’t rush you. I can reach out first or you can. All I need from you is some sort of sign to let me know what you want, what you need. Talk to me, please, about something deeper than work or the weather.
I will always love you, sweet man.