• If only you knew…

    by  • February 9, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 11 Comments

    If only you knew how badly I want to reach for you in certain moments. I want to wrap my arms around you and pull you close. Oh to hug you! I feel the need to just jump at you and lock our lips in the most passionate kiss!

    But I don’t. I can’t.

    First, would the reality match up to my expectations? Would we be as incredible as the fantasy I have built up in my mind, my dreams?

    Second, would you be turned off? Would you be appalled at me for not being able to control my urges any longer? What if I didn’t match up to your expectations?

    Lastly, what if I am right? What if I am not crazy and we do have this connection where we know each other without words? It sounds wonderful, but it terrifies me. To think that I second guess my instincts, and that causes me to mess everything up! To beleive that this is real feels like I would just be setting myself up for disappointment. Even though, I do feel that you know my needs, without words. I hope that I make you feel the same way.

    I guess that is all I have to say tonight.

    But before I go, let me just admit that I think you are here. How, I can never guess. Why, I may never know. But I do feel like I have heard your voice in some of these letters on here and elsewhere. Perhaps I am baited by a troll, or maybe I am certifiable. In any case, please do something or say something so that I may be certain of my sanity.



    I can’t stop loving you. I have tried.

    11 Responses to If only you knew…

    1. Redstringoffate
      February 9, 2018 at 10:53 am

      I’m here.

    2. Bumble
      February 9, 2018 at 11:20 am

      It would be 1 in a million if it was you, Buzz

    3. Em
      February 9, 2018 at 6:37 pm

      T? Oh how this sounds like it could be for me. I wish for this to be true.

      • T
        February 14, 2018 at 7:16 pm

        I read these too… such a bad habit, I mean, what are the odds yeah?

    4. Ashley
      February 10, 2018 at 12:33 am

      Is this you? I’ve wanted you to kiss me too! I’ve always dreamed about it. Don’t hesitate next time we see each other. You aren’t dreaming. I want you. You want me. Oh if only this was really you. Look into my eyes and my stares say it all. When I keep looking back at you that means I want you.

    5. Yup
      February 10, 2018 at 1:43 am

      If only you knew..
      But you won’t if your feeling stay in here.

      No reality compares to the perfect fantasy but it is,or can be, an unexpected, transformed extension and you could find yourself happier – in real life – than with the feelings your fantisy provided you with. Nothing beats bodylanguage and to look at each other to realize that – maybe notall expectations come true but the feeling, the connection itself is something only few ever find.

    6. Me
      February 10, 2018 at 9:45 pm

      Is this you? Yes, you make me feel the same way.

      You are NOT crazy and I am Not crazy, even thou I thought I was crazy for so long.
      I am terrified too, fear is our biggest hurdle, it always has been.
      As for the setting up for disappointment, that’s fear talking once again.
      I am not immune to it either, I feel the intense connection, but fear holds me back.
      You might have noticed that I am trying to push past the fear, but I can only reach so far.
      I need you to reach out to me and meet me half way. I don’t know how, I just know we must.

      My biggest fear is that you will pull away, shutdown, and stop communicating. Maybe right away or maybe sometime down the road. You tend to run and hide under stress, but that is a trait of a Pisces. Communication is the most important part of a relationship, and ours is poor right now.

      I would not be turned off, even if our nerves make us clumsy, so don’t worry about that.
      if there is a first time, I am pretty sure it will be perfectly imperfect.

      Finally, I am not perfect and neither are you, but I do think we would be a really great together.


      P.S. I can’t think of a great clue so you know this is me, so I am just going to say that I can’t wait to see you on your birthday weekend and I am sure you will be happy to ride in my truck :-).

    7. Writer
      February 11, 2018 at 2:21 pm

      Sorry guys. This is written to a man. Recently he showed me twin flame art that he liked. I didn’t even know he was into it. Could that be the sign I asked for?

      See what this site does? We are all going crazy here. We should let go, but we can’t. It isn’t that easy is it?

      • Reader
        February 12, 2018 at 12:51 am

        Yes we all need to let it go, espacially if the reality never matches up. In reality, people are selfish. They are users. They look at their options and usually always time take the easiest route, the route of most self gratification. You learn to forgive, but what are the limits? Do you just go on forever forgiving and taking the hard way, when they just keep taking the easy route. Part of me will always love her, but I am done. Done waiting for her to grow into a person who does not use others to take her where she wants to go. That is the lowest of the 3d plane and I do not believe that those that have had visions of the higher realms can keep going back to the lowest or low. Maybe our TF is the love and respect we should have for ourselves.

        Sorry for rant, bad day!

        • Partially Agree
          February 12, 2018 at 3:10 pm

          I think that our TF shows us who we are. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I can not say who has seen what in their lives, neither planes nor visions, nor realms. But I do know that fear is the hardest blockage to break through. And you have every right in the world to give up and walk away from whomever you wish for any reason that you deem neccessary.

          I don’t know if everyone has a TF or if anyone does really. But I know there are things in this world that defy logic, and unexplained connections and occurences of perfect timing.

          I wish I knew your story Reader. You sound as though you hold pain. The truest test I have found for TFs, is to be at peace with the circumstances. It is so very difficult. There are so many rocks to atop us along the way, but peace is the ultimate goal for me. No chaos. Just to enjoy the time given while it is here. It is truly a gift.

          I hope that you find your peace, and I hope that I find mine.

          • Zihuatanejo
            February 16, 2018 at 12:48 am

            Thank you for your kind and grounded response.

            I too wish for more peace and less stormy weather- blues skys and calm waters. Not just for myself, but for everyone. Especially for kind souls such as yourself.

            I believe healing is cyclical though, much like the aforementioned storms. Sometimes it is wanderfully peaceful, almost magical. But then other times you get battered and have to release it all. Dive down in the gutters to find the clog, so the storms do not drown you or your loved ones.

            I would feel so horrible if the person at the other end of my connection really could feel it all. What a chaotic roller coaster ride that would be, and I would never wish that upon them. If I had any magic scissors I would cut the chord without thought. I would have cut it years ago. I just want to be free. Likewise her.

            Maybe surrender is the freedom (peace) we seek?

            Either way, it looks like I still have some more shit to crawl through. See ya(all) on the other side in Zihuatanejo.

            I will have Lots of stories to tell about rocks and inexplicable things!

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