I have found it impossible to sweep the memory of you from my day to day existence much less my life. I truly hated severing that single thread that kept us in contact but felt so damn foolish for chasing a feeling that was not there. I know I am in no position to say a word, given my reality, but I did if even for a brief moment, feel like a fresh heart beat within me. Whether or not you helped that feeling blossom is now unimportant and for whatever reason we have differing views on hindsight here. This too does not matter anymore as I know what the reply would be and if it were so you are dealing with a complete moron who has no conception of you or of life so you are miles ahead not having this haunting you. My recollections will be what they are as well and no mitigation is possible, I lived what I lived.
The only reason I decided to post here again was to tell you that no matter what you had done or acted like towards me it could not change what was forged into my heart and soul so many years ago. You were put here to elevate the passion within me pure and simple. Of a million possible paths, ours crossed and you became ingrained in my mind and in my heart. You were and are a fairy tale meant to bring a smile to the inner passions of a man.
So I write this with complete knowledge that you will never read it and I will be ok with that, I have no options here. There was a time when I really would have loved to know that I was not 100% wrong, that time has come and gone sadly. I have probably sunk away from thought, ADD can have that effect and although that is sad as well, it is also not a shock to the system. You will forever be You and for each thing to love about you there is a hard pill somewhere to swallow.
So my muse I will end this story with the fact that you still live within me, I still have an un-quenched passion within me, I know it will remain that way and should remain that way, You will always be loved by me even if I am not in love with you anymore. I thank you for having more sense than me, it would have probably been a disaster for us both. I Love You kid