It’s been 9 years now going on 10.. for some reason I still think about you every day.. thinking about how you are doing.. how your family is going.. and so on.. I keep rewinding my memories of the past with you, how happy we were.. every carefree moment. I keep thinking about the times I’ve kissed you in public like no one else was around. It was just you and me and no one else. Those times with you, although fleeting, were the best moments I’ve ever had in my life. I pushed you away because I felt that I didnt deserve a good man like you. I felt like garbage. I broke your heart, I was successfully ruthless.. Ive disrespected you and I am still working on forgiving myself for this.. i know we have reconnected a couple times after with hopes of being together again.. Dennis.. deep down I really wanted to be with you again.. but I just felt that I couldn’t move past what I did to hurt you. So again Ive rejected you. You flew half way across the country and I rejected you.. i left you to sit and rot.. when you needed me most I couldnt help you.. “thats not love” i thought to myself.. you deserve so much better. You deserve all the happiness in the world.. There is no one on this planet like you and I pray in our next lives, I will make things right. In this life I am making things right by moving on with my own life and staying away from you.. for I am so toxic for you.. every night i still say goodnight to you.. i still look at the moon and wonder if youre also looking at it with me.. i am writing this letter because i miss you so much.. i miss your voice.. i miss that look in your eyes.. i miss everything… but now it is nothing but a memory.. a memory that i wish cherish for the rest of my life.. i am so sorry for what ive done.. and theres really nothing i can do to fix it. I can only let you go and never come back to you. Ignore and not talk to you. So that way i can never hurt you again.. and you can move on.. . which im sure you have. I hope you find someone that you love and that they love you back..and give you all the love you really deserve.. im so sorry i still cannot forgive myself. I hope you are doing well.. ill always love you deep down .. to me, youre my sou mate….