• You still cross my mind from time to time…

    by  • February 6, 2018 • * Safe for Work *, Miss You • 0 Comments

    K,

    Its been a good 6 or 7 yrs since our falling out. We never did speak again as I thought we would. I dont know how i could be so stupid. I guess i just figured that I’d apologize and so easily after that youd forgive me and we’d start talking again. But you left the job not too long afterwards. And it wasnt much longer after that, when I heard you started dating a girl from your college. And honestly, I started dating not much longer after that too. Im still with him today.

    Ive also heard that youre recently married now. Believe it or not, Im happy for you. You deserve someone who makes you happy and appreciates you for the great guy that you are.

    I know the time you and I did spend together wasnt long, but surprisingly I had some good times in that kitchen, and I find myself looking back often wondering how you are, wishing I would have done things differently. I will be the first to admit that I wasnt so kind in the things I said. It was really inappropriate for me to raise my voice the way I did on the job too.

    To tell you the truth, I found myself a few days ago in your town. (not sure if youre still living there or not.) I had an interview for a job there.

    I wouldnt know where your house was anyway, I just remember at the time you saying that you lived in that town. Driving through there made me think of you and I even thought i may have passed you on the road. But that could have just been in my head. Im not sure if youd even recognize me today, and maybe I wouldnt even recognize you. Who knows.

    This letter isnt to say that I want to drop my bf or for you to drop your wife and us to run off together…Im sure you havent looked back since anyway. And I promise I would never try and come between you and your wife if for some reason we did happen to cross paths again.

    Its just my apology. I lost a friend. I was wrong in the way I acted. I was a bitch and I know that at the time i caused you a lot of pain. I guess at the time i was scared. I never had a bf and never knew a guy as nice as you, Kevin. I feel as though I took you for granted.

    I do love my bf very much, but i am not going to lie… I dont think hes always as nice as you always seemed to be. He can be difficult at times and has a bit of a rebellious nature that I sometimes find hard dealing with. But Ive learned to accept his faults.

    Your wife is very lucky and Im sure you are too. Even though ive never met her, I picture her to be this very pretty and well put together lady. She probably cooks you really nice meals, and cares for you in ways that for some reason at the time, I couldnt.

    Your mom was always very nice too. It really bothers me what a bad taste I must have left her with.

    Ever since you, Ive been trying really hard to not do others wrong and have been much more careful to not mislead them. I dont want to hurt anyone or make the same mistakes as in the past. At every job Ive had since the kitchen, I tread slowly and carefully when it comes to building any kind of relations with people on a personal level.

    Im sorry things went the way they did. But knowing that you must be happier now is a good feeling, however, i would be much happier with the closure knowing that I got my apology across to you.

    I doubt youll stumble across my letter on here, but in case you do… I am wishing you the best and hope you understand i didnt mean for things to end up the way they did.

    – L

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