I wish we could meet in a mutual location and talk.
I feel that you don’t hate me. Despite me once thinking that you must.
I want to trust you.
I want you to be able to trust me. Both are probably a lot to ask on both sides.
However, I’m willing to try if you are.
I feel that one day you might speak to me again, but I feel it’s more likely when I’ve completely moved away and left. I thought you might speak to me at uni but, then I guess I wasn’t completely gone as was home during summers.
Despite this, you made me aware that you were still around. Did you ever want to speak to me? I don’t feel like you were messing around. I also don’t feel that you wanted to risk it. I feel similarly. Not that I’ve got much to lose, but I don’t want to upset you and I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.
It’s the last thing I’d want to do.
You mean so much to me. I really wish you were part of my life. Am I just kidding myself though? I don’t know. I hope that one day I hear from you again, be it in 2 days time, tomorrow, 5 years or even 10 or 20 years. It’s up to you. I don’t hold any bad feeling towards you. I hated that you walked away, but you needed to for you. It was the thing. And because, I know that it makes me trust you. I don’t sense that you would ever physically hurt me or even mentally intend to upset me.
I have been hurt in the past as have many, but the only thing that hurt in regards to this is how I could have hurt you. I longed to see you, get to know you more, be with you. But instead I questioned you and put you in an almost impossible situation to say anything but that’s it. Yes I did long to hear from you, but I guess maybe it wasn’t my place to ask anything. I don’t know. I put my desire to hear from you, above what you may have felt or wanted to do at the time. I’m sorry that I did that. If you don’t reply then it is up to you. I just feel like there’s something more here. Like if you really were that done with me you wouldn’t be finding ways to let me know of your presence even all these years later.
Just please know, I hold no bad feeling, I would love to see you and as always, I hope you’re okay babes.