I’m still thinking about the fact that you left, but not in the way you’d expect.
Don’t get me wrong. I liked you. I’ll be the first to admit that you’re beautiful and charismatic, and you charmed me from the beginning with your pretty words and even prettier eyes. God, I even liked the way you always beat me at pool.
It usually hurt when you left, making it all the more ridiculous when I let you back in. (I fully blame that on the charisma, by the way.) But when you left me for the last time, you asked me, “don’t you want love?”
Those are the words ringing in my ears now. Those are the words I keep coming back to. I could’ve fought to keep you, but I think we both know I didn’t love you…I wonder if you ever loved me, for that matter, since if I meant as much to you as you said I did, you wouldn’t have given up so easily. But that’s a letter for another time.
“Don’t you want love?”
Lilli, I thought I already had it.
My dad takes road trips with me. My mom and I read the same mysteries. My two best friends don’t even go to the same school as I do and we still talk every day. I’m surrounded every day by supportive friends and acquaintances. Even my teachers support me. The people in my life want me to be happy and are willing to help me get there. I know they’re there for me and that I can talk to them about anything. I foresee them being in my life for s very long time.
Isn’t that what love is?
If it isn’t, isn’t that what love should be?
Even you. You said you fell in love with me. And if you knew me so well, you should’ve known. This is love for me and if you need more, then you need to have looked somewhere else a long time ago.
Isn’t that right, darling?