• yeah yeah i wish i were better too

    by  • December 27, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    It’s Christmas eve and I’m having a breakdown. It could have been poetic, except it’s about how I wasted some money and I don’t know that I’ll make my rent and you liked some girl’s picture on IG and started following her. It’s my ex. It’s also my abusive ex’s kinda-ex. You’re not friends on Facebook, so you probably just like her face. That’s okay. So did he. More than mine. He’d always tell me how he wishes he were dating her. How he really used to love her. How good they could have been. How gorgeous her eyes were. How worthless I was. He actively tried to make me jealous, he admitted as much. It worked. She did nothing wrong, but my gut instinct is to hate her. I hate that you think she’s pretty. It’s a stupid thing to worry about, but I’m stupid. I wish you’d only look at me. That’s never gonna happen. I wish you’d unfollow but I’d sound crazy if I asked. I’m not quite there, but I definitely have some issues. I hate my brain for making this a big deal.

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