• Confessions from a lonely artist.

    by  • December 27, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 3 Comments

    My problem is that I don’t know how to love half-assed. When I find something that I really like, I dive into the erupting volcano face first and wait for the explosion with a front row seat, the object of my affection becoming a part of me, carving itself into my daily routines. I can’t just like something, I have to obsess. If I find a T.V show that I instantly click with, you know you can find me watching it over and over, episode after episode, season after season for years to come, because I am a mess, my heart doesn’t know how to love at a distance, it drags me away to a whole new place and makes my brain feel so dumb. When I get new pets, you bet your ass that I treat them like a child, I’ll make Christmas stockings for the simplest of rodents, make sure guinea pigs don’t go a morning without lettuce or carrots, my dog’s life is never mild, growing up with more than I ever had. So when I talked to you for the first time, I wasn’t surprised by the instant connection, I was a moth cast into darkness with no hope of ever seeing the light. Then I met you, a lighthouse that illuminated my dark journey, creating a safe path to something dangerously close to happiness. And I know it was happiness, because the moment we shared our first words I knew that I liked you, and I don’t like the things I care about, I don’t know how. I dive into volcanoes, jump in front of bullets for mice, and so for you… I would do absolutely everything. You’ll never feel like you’re the worst, because I swear to god that I will show you you’re the best, you’ll never have to worry about whether or not you look ugly that day, because honey, that is physically impossible. Everything about you shines, making my insides vibrate and my skin warm to the touch, you have the beauty of a goddess, even on your low days, I will never let you think that you aren’t worthy of the title sublime, baby, you’re beautiful. You will never feel unloved in my care, you already have my undivided attention, one look from me and you’ll feel like the god damn queen that you are, bending me to your every will by a simple flutter of lashes, I love you. I respect you. I will always, always,always love you. When you ask me to, when you ask me not to, when you wanna hear it, when you don’t, when you need to, when you’re begging me to say it, when you’re tired of the three words that I’ll wear out for as long as you need me to, because fuck. I love you. And I know that someday I’ll get up the courage to tell you these exact words.

    3 Responses to Confessions from a lonely artist.

    1. wow
      December 27, 2017 at 5:15 pm

      just wow. You should definitely tell her.

    2. Writer of Letter (owner of a broken heart)
      January 1, 2018 at 3:24 am

      She doesn’t feel the same way.

    3. Wow
      January 3, 2018 at 9:14 am

      How can you be sure if you don’t communicate?

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