• Thoughts Before Christmas

    by  • December 18, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Closure • 2 Comments

    So I asked a close friend what does it mean if a guy goes away and doesn’t come back in your life without as much as a goodbye. I asked her does that mean he has moved on. She said, “Pretty much he is not interested anymore.”

    I already knew the answer but she pretty much summed it up for me vocally. There is no point of finding you, because honestly I don’t think you want to be found. It was a rush of adrenaline thinking I might find you somewhere, but I’ve hit reality.

    If you wanted to be with me you would have asked me out by now and shown up in my life. It’s an awful thing to come to terms with at Christmas time.

    I hate how easy it is to gravitate back to you. For months I thought I’d finally gotten over the sight of you. Gravity by Sara Barielles pretty much sums up how I feel now. It’s back to haunt me again. Can this truly be it? Can it all be truly over?

    You aren’t here. Enough said right there.

    Going to Gatlinburg this Christmas. Maybe I will stop thinking about you enough to enjoy time with family and not feel so blue that you are never coming back.

    Goodbye love. Here on out I’m writing to whoever my future prince will be on here.

    Love always,


    2 Responses to Thoughts Before Christmas

    1. Britney
      December 21, 2017 at 3:16 pm

      You are going to have so much fun there. I am going there myself pretty soon. Probably will make a stop in Nashville to see a friend on my way. Don’t be sad. The reason things didn’t work out with y’all is because that was not the plan meant for you. When you meet your person you will understand why this never worked and it will make sense. Enjoy your trip and holiday.

    2. Ashley
      December 22, 2017 at 4:06 pm

      Britney, I love your comments and you are so down-to-earth. I’ve written a new letter and I’m back to choosing him. I’ve gone back and forth but I think I’ve made my choice and that is him. If there isn’t him than I don’t want anybody else. I know that he is it or I wouldn’t be fighting so hard to try and move on. I think we could be amazing and he shines above all the other men that I’ve met.

      I feel foolish for going back and forth when the answer is so easy and right in front of me. I choose him. He has come back into my life and I’ve heard from him. We are meant to be together. I’m so glad that things are working out. Even more so glad that I didn’t walk away from him this time.

      We are meant to be together and I feel happy on my own, but even so much more joy that I can’t help but walk around with a smile on my face. Funny how its all working out. I’m excited to hear from him again.

      Dreams do come true!

      Thanks for the well wishes to TN. I’m hoping he ends up there this Christmas, but it be a lot to ask him to do that seeing as he has family to spend with. I’ll see him again soon either way…I have faith. Hope you have a wonderful holiday too!


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