I wonder if your October, November & December have been lonely without me? We’ve been apart longer than we’ve been together…. I know this isn’t your style, but maybe, just maybe you’ll get nostalgic… and you will find this message, so willingly. Like how willingly you interrupted my life. You could of have had me. All of me…If you were patient enough…Confident enough. With each passing day, I miss you even more. I try to shake this feeling, but it keeps growing. Evergreen our days spent staring, seeping into each others souls. I could have died a thousand times in your eyes, known we’ve already done this in a thousand other lives. You made everything so right and at the same time we both knew it was wrong. Now my life just feels wrong. I get deeper into the rabbit hole every single time I wake. You are gone. I am gone. I want you so bad. I need you back in my life. Something about you made me so complete. I rehashed all our times, in my mind and I realized what it all meant. I need you. I hate where I’m at. I resent who I am with. It’s wrong. It’s monotonous, predictable and just plain wrong. I know you feel the same way with her, but you just continue to lie to yourself. You say you are okay. You are busy with your new job. Happily distracted while you are working, but lacking in your tiny home…left alone. She leaves you alone most of the time, even during the holiday times…but you left me lonely every single fucking day. I miss you…There is something about you that leaves a karmic resonance. it’s hard to shake, and it eats me whole. Please, I’m trying to figure out the way back. I can’t keep doing this to myself… Misery doesn’t look so good on someone who use to shine so bright. I wish I could just show up or call….Blocked I’ve been from every single way to reach out…SOS doesn’t even ring a bell…I figured out the love I have for you, since you been gone. It may seem far fetched, but my all has been consumed by you. Thank you for sharing with me the attentiveness and beauty of your being, but now we’re both strangers who use to know each other well…I’m fighting off this urge to just show up to where you roam. I know these places too fucking well.
You once told me I was like the sun…but now all I have left is the darkness…and i’m really not sure If I can make it to dawn.
UGH…I miss you Ty. Please fucking hear my call…
I know you crave to be loved the way I know how…
I will always send you my love every day,