You know at first when you said we should call it off I was destroyed. I remember being at a stop sign and just bawling my eyes out. You told me we should continue being like best friends. That felt like a punch to the gut. I was so mad at you, but I couldn’t hate you because i loved you. I just agreed.
Days passed and you called me. I didn’t answer because I was in spinning class but I would have in a heart beat. I later sent you a very bland text ” Whats up”. You called me immediately after and told me it was a mistake leaving me. You told me you loved me for the first time right then.
Sure enough I was pulled back to you, but this time it felt so different for me.
It was so easy for you to just leave me as if i was nothing. I love you, but I love myself much more. The pain you put me through is something I can get over, but not something Id like to do again. You pushed me away and my mind is telling me to stay away. My heart may want something completely different, but the reality is…YOU LEFT ME. Now where there was unconditional love only lies fear. Fear that one day like before you will randomly leave. I can’t stop overthinking, and the doubt that has taken over won’t allow my heart to let you back in.
Maybe its the best for the both of us to just let that flame burn out.