I don’t know where to start or even begin. Not even sure why I’m doing this but these thoughts and feelings are keeping me awake and maybe just maybe, sharing them with someone, anyone will allow me to sleep. I’m not in love with anyone, not anymore. However I have feelings for my friend. I love him as a friend yet I like him as something more and it leaves me feeling confused. I shouldn’t like him that way. I don’t know why I do. I know he’ll never view me that way. He’s only attracted to me sexually and as a friend. Knowing this I should know better than to develop any kind of romantic feelings for him but I still did and its painful liking him. I just want to view him as a friend. He’s leaving soon and a part of me is relieved as bad as that sounds. He’s going to be away for at least two years maybe longer. I really want to express all of these thoughts and emotions to him before he leaves but I probably shouldn’t. It would bother him since he doesn’t see me that way and even if he did I don’t want him to. He’s an important person to me and I’m fine with just being friends. I don’t want anything else, the only thing that I wish would change are these feelings of mine. I hope he stays safe while he’s gone and I hope these feelings fade away by the time he comes back. The only thing I can do is just try to suppress these feelings and just enjoy the time we have left before he’s gone.