I did it, I went to that hospital and after I told self I would never do it again I got rid of it. I couldn’t hold back the tears when I woke up. Because I would talk to it and put my hand there. I would lay awake and feel it move. But I couldn’t do this alone, you left and I literally had no one. Who would have drove us back from the hospital? Who would have paid the bills and bought the diapers as I healed? Here I am weeks later and you don’t known that I went through with it. You’re out there thinking it’s still growing in me, and you are fine with not knowing if we are okay. You are fine knowing that as it was growing I was slowly dying. It was killing me, I had pain and was big far to early. You were my dream and it growing there painfully inside was a like a truth of a dream coming true. But when I went in that hospital getting rid of it, I was also getting rid of you. So goodbye beautiful boy from my childhood, goodbye to our youth and promises, goodbye to the adult dreams we had together. Goodbye to that love we had of the selves we knew. Because I didn’t known you when we met again but I still loved the boy I knew. Goodbye baby that that love helped me create.