There have been so many letters Ive almost written to you this last week. I plan them out in my mind, but never start writing them because I just dont see any point in trying to engage in any kind of real-time communication with you here. So I’ll just give you a synopsis of each so maybe you can see my point. You know, three days from now when this posts.
– I was going to discuss how differently our friends would perceive each other (ie your friends with me and my friends with you) and how that certainly must impact our individual decision making. For instance, my friends would take one look at you, tell me how hot you were, and then proceed to tell me how lucky I am. I imagine your friends dismay when they find out I dont have a car, and dont have a six pack (except in my fridge), and telling you how you could do so much better than rosacea boy. Anyways, the point of all this being, I just wish you could have the decency one time to be honest and admit you dont want to be associated with me because I embarrass you.
– The above led me on to a slightly different concept. The idea that I am expected to wait in perpetuity for you to do….whatever it is youre doing. And Im sure, if the day ever comes that youre ready to let me back in, I will be expected to come running full speed. Because I could never do better than you right? Even if thats true, I cant tell you how insulting it is when you act that way.
– I had one day where I really kicked ass and felt like I exhibited alot of traits that make for a good man. But I dont even know if that matters to you at all, so never mind.
– Oh yeah, did I tell you I have a child? Shes 57 years old and requires about 4-6 hours daily of my attention/caretaking. And Im still an asshole. So I bet you two would get along real well. I was planning to ask you to help support me during this last week where my own life has become completely irrelevant because all I do is help others and put out fires here and there. But then I realized, by the time this posts and you might actually have an opportunity to respond, I might feel entirely different and/or you just might not care. And/or Im just as batshit crazy as she is and none of this is real.
Sorry for boring you again. At least no one knows you talk to me here so you can publicly disavow any knowledge of my existence.