I need for you to know a few things.
1. This is done. I just can’t anymore. If you really do care for me, end all signs of it. We can’t be friends anymore. We can’t be family. We simply can’t be anything.
2. If ever you do confess anything to me, please know that I do love you, no matter what comes out of my mouth simply to inflict the pain on you that I feel now. You have scorned me in ways that I can not bare to remember: the insults igniting my insecurities, pushing me past forgiveness into protection mode, the pain you have caused me telling me why I am not good enough, the abandonment issues you have brought to the surface feom deep within, the ripping me apart with your fangs, the blood I spilled for you with my confessions of truth, everything taken for granted. You don’t appreciate and honor love. You fear it and run away like a…
3. While I love you, and appreciate the beauty you have brought into my life…I hate you, profusely, rigidly. I hate that you refused to open your heart to me until it was too late. I hate that you either played with my heart or were too scared. I hate that you saw me vulnerable and refused to reciprocate.
I love you. I hate you.
It isn’t fair and it isn’t right.
But pain. This pain.
It is enough to kill a person.
You are making me insaine.
Or we are doing it to each other.
We have to stop.
And grow up and own your feelings.