the iceman leads a shot to the meadow’s firstborn sheep. would it still have happened if it was said through the jukebox what she would become? the way she would hand her heart over with her eyes closed. boundlessly loving, inflicted with such pain. the flashes of wounds to come. but the power that would ensue. the glasses hit the floor, cheers through the red ceiling. she’s here and not going anywhere.
I’ve held his face. I’ve ran my fingers through his hair. I’ve had my lips against his. I’ve looked him in the eyes as he got lost in the essence. he’s held me while he sleeps. I’ve slept in his arms.
you’re everything good for me all while being a new recipe to destroy me. the world of love isn’t done with me yet. It’s brought to my doorstep a new masterpiece, a breathtaking, florence syndrome inducing beauty. so I stand here in awe. the red rain that comes with my command and your love of painting the sky. we do that each and every time. that’s what’s been showing up these days. what we are capable of.
I’m going to tell you. I’m not denying this pull. we might be dead by tomorrow. and this is of significance. you can’t not follow the road you’re already on. and I couldn’t be happier to be here. I’m on my knees. crown me. place flower petals in my hair. let me be here as your parachute. let’s fly. let me keep you safe. let’s chase these highs together, feeling the wind beneath those wings I know you have. you don’t even need to be caught. but you’ve fallen into me. and me into you. these are the things that take my breath away.
I envision myself leaned against a counter in some partying place. a friend of yours out there with his ladder, paintbrush in hand. reaching the sky. my feeling of being home. drink in hand and you in my eyes. higher than anything. pulling you into me again as we’ve faced this before. whispering as its words that act as gasoline. my love for the art has taken over me. getting to taste it all again. quivering in your arms.
tell me you’re afflicted too. show me the burns on your hands from holding me. I’ll show you mine in return. we have been brought into this fire. it’s just begun. it would be safest to evacuate. but the grounds of disaster remain our backyard. we walk it with force. the touch of chaos doesn’t leave us.
you are my downfall and what’s made me alive again. I never want to see a day that you’re not here. I’ll love you through it all. strike me with your fire, just kiss my cheek after. I don’t believe you want to hurt me. but you embody the game. you can’t help but play sometimes. I’m fun to mess with. and you can love me through it all.
I’ll blindfold you like you said I should. I’ll kiss you everywhere. my lips are longing to feel you. it’s unfair that you’ve gotten to and I haven’t, isn’t it? do that again. the way you made me fade into the air in shocks of electricity you made with your mouth. breathing fire, the pyromaniac’s true explosion of choice. a hailstorm in their arms. the way it all creates such a loud sound. the aftershocks and the sound of doors closing, people coming outside to see what all the commotions about. but it’s gone as soon as it begins. lingering as smoke, coating windows. can’t see but you know something is going down. we laugh and hold each other.
why do you think you were brought to me? that’s what it was all about. what it’s always been about. the beauty of fate worked hand in hand to place us here. you were always meant to come to me. It was crafted into time, our figment of space. the haze of us together. it’s felt everywhere. you’ve made it to this side. I’ve poured out my heart in every form. to greet this love with everything I have. it causing me to drop everything.
I know you’re out there doing what you do. smoke surrounding you someplace. and no matter who’s around or what’s happening you always think of me. I can’t help but worry about you. I know you know how this works. I just find myself wondering who’s getting to see your perfect face in these moments. and if they know you’re loved by a storm.
I won’t forget you know. the first time I got to be close to you. what they loved written on the trailer walls but sitting on the carpet next to you thinking that all I loved was you. it flooding my capacity to love, overwhelming my system entirely. in the best and most intense way possible. your face so close to mine, breathing in the high of you.
the night I got brought down and then back up. being encouraged to go forward and into you. a hand you know well leading me into your embrace. my inhibitions leaving through that garage door. getting burned on the heater you were making s’mores on. the warmth of that and the fire of you. I got so close to the flames I have marks to prove it.
the blue dark and the first time you kiss me. not having to imagine the feeling anymore. it happening so strongly that I wasn’t sure it even really existed. so light. so perfect. too heavy for this realm. embracing us and letting us go. the weight of falling. the freeness of flying. the brilliant lights in your touch.
me sleeping next to you on the floor. not remembering my eyes closing, holding them open just to look at you until I couldn’t anymore. awaking beside you and your hands on me. the striking boldness. the true step off the cliff. we fell that day. we jumped and dove and fell. again and again.
you telling me you couldn’t ever be the one to break my heart but then pulling a piece of it off in the blur that followed. trouble. she said you were. but only in the way that she saw the love. announcing its name. dancing with me and all eyes on us.
not leaving your side and you leaned over the fence. my hand tracing your back. getting on my knees where you were sitting to hold you. hating every step that brought me closer to leaving you there. the way it went through me, hands wringing me out. the pain that echoed through the early hours of the morning after walking through the front door. taking off my heels and the hurting not leaving. the hurting is part of the loving.
you soon after telling me that this isn’t wrong it just isn’t right. but that’s not the first time you’ve said it. this is a dangerous union. I don’t think you can resist it. I know I can’t. in the same breath of saying that your lips were on mine. you late just to hold me. just to cry in my arms. that’s not how endings go. that’s the true start.
everything becomes a turning page. a breath of fresh air, a new sight that we have yet to see. the planning. the ice cubes down our backs. the need for warmth. and we’ve found it.
you laughing on top of me, talking about how we have to be subtle. your voice saying for me not to even be in the same room as you. my heart expanding in my chest. my own laughter and reaction to you, the most gorgeous thing, expressing that you want me. that you have a desire for me. the whole experience knocking the wind out of me permanently. when you could have anyone you wanted.
you make people who don’t even know you want to be around you. getting people up to dance who never in a million years would’ve even stood up off the barstool. your presence makes people forget the hardships. makes me forget anything bad has even happened. the gates of heaven, you take me in to your golden mind. captivated more and more.
I let you read my words. I let you in and sit you down in this wonderland. prepare to be intoxicated. that was a strong dose of my heart. everything in it’s rawest form. the true nature of how I feel. the start of it. you know you were destined for this. I am one of your six impossible things before breakfast. but you conquer the impossible every time.
I look in the mirror and see your eyes instead of myself. I can’t see anything but you. those stunning shades of blue and gray. I become you. I take on your pain. as you sit lighting matches it all burns me just how much you’ve seen. I am the matchbox. light everything you must off of me. It cuts me over and over. it’s become a reflector. everything in me, becoming you. everything in you, becoming me. the way we intertwine. the caterpillar passing me the pipe.
how do I escape from arms as strong as yours and why would I want to? why would I want to leave this place of wonder? break me, love me. tell me you love me. I love you.