I hate you from the bottom of my heart. You said that to me once. It stung for a second but then I was fine. You didn’t mean it. You knew I knew you didnt mean it.
So much has happened over the years and it is very painful for me to think that this could be it for us. Here we are years later, and you’ve cut me out, again. I played a big role in this, I know. I am partially, and listen to me carefully, partially to blame. I won’t take full responsibility for this, you played your role.
There is clearly no way to communicate this to you now, every attempt I’ve made went unanswered. I think I know what you want, and I think I know why you are doing what you are doing. Yet I can’t be sure; I am not in your head. I wish you would just talk to me, this is breaking my heart. But I give up, I can’t keep doing this to myself. I could be happily married by now if I wasn’t hung up on you. The what if’s can screw. I’m done wondering. I am going to continue to live my life, without you unfortunately in it, but to the fullest and enjoy every moment. You know I will. I will be happy. You know this too. But we both know we could be happy together.
You dont want to commit? You dont want to steal me away? Maybe I am wrong, all you ever wanted was to get laid? Thats a long time to not get laid! At this moment in time I am willing to face the fact that you may not always get what you want. I hope you don’t regret this. I know I already do.