The lying, the manipulation, the endless tests, I can forgive all that. I’d like to think I already have, but I don’t know if thats really possible without talking to you about it first. Still, I know that I could, because I love you.
What I’m not so sure I can forgive, is that you left me alone for years. You fucking abandoned me. After all I did was love you as best I could. In the process you reinforced all of my fears and insecurities about women. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for leaving me. But whatever chance there is diminishes every single day you continue to isolate me from you.
I would say that you must obviously see all this differently. How could someone do something like that to someone they purportedly care about? But I really don’t know. I keep thinking back to that time I told you that people were calling you the “Ice Queen” behind your back, and rather than indignance, you legitimately were giddy with pride over your new moniker.
In truth, I guess it makes sense. The warm and the intimate have never seemed real with you, but the cold and the distant are all too familiar.
If you just really don’t care about anything thats important to me, then why are we even doing this?