I spoke to her for the first time today, i told her how sorry i was for what i had done to her, but i was really just apologizing for letting myself fall for him again. He used me for the attention I was giving him, maybe he wasn’t getting enough from her so he looked for it elsewhere. He found his distraction and it was me. She told me he said it was a big mistake, meaning me of course. i wish i could say the same for him but i couldn’t, i thought he could love me the way i loved him but i guess you cant love a mistake back no matter how much i love you. she seems like a great girl and i hope she treats you well, i hope she makes you smile that beautiful smile of yours every day, i hope shes the one you can tell all your deepest secrets to. and most importantly i hope you know how badly i could be in her shoes. i love you jacob, i miss you so much.