• Playing with Me

    by  • November 11, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    Why?

    Why do I keep letting you play with my heart? Am I that desperate to feel something? Am I that in need of an ego boost? Years ago I could see through the layers of BS with guys like you. But you aren’t like them. Or at least, I didn’t think you were. They did it for an ego boost. Why do you do it? Don’t deny. I know for a fact that if the stories you tell me are true about all of the women around you, then you have to be playing with their hearts too. I am nothing special, especially compared to them.

    So while you have caused me an unbearable pain that you will never know, I do appreciate what I have learned from you. I like to believe that you do it because you are just as desperate to feel something as I am and all of your victims are. Perhaps that is me still seeing the good in you. But no matter the reason, I have grown to realize that if I were in the same place that I was years ago, you could never have tempted me. You could never have gotten so close to my heart. There is something missing in me: a piece of myself that I have lost to the world.

    It is easy to see how we were meant to be
    It is easier; however, to understand we can’t be together.
    Thank you for coming into my life,
    and thank you for opening my eyes.
    But it so very hard
    To completely say goodbye.

    You are not that piece. No one is. Whatever it is that is missing, I may never find. Whatever it is, you are naught but a symbol of it, a reminder.

    I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I hope that you believe that. Even without you opening up very much. Do you know what has occurred in my life just since you entered it? You are a perfect storm that I can dance in. I thought I was a content, stable adult. You opened my eyes to the fact that I am not and loved me through it, proving to me that it is okay to be imperfect. Flaws are beautiful when nurtured. In the same aspect,

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