After all of this writing and crying and thinking and crying – I realize that it’s really you that I want.
I don’t want to leave. I don’t want a divorce. I don’t want us to separate or find someone new.
As much as sometimes I’m not sure if you can always be who I need, it’s you that I want.
I just want us to be better, babe.
Yes, I am still going to hold back on my affection – not denying you when you kiss me, or hug me, or want to touch me. I just won’t be the one to initiate. I’m still going to hold back, because I don’t know when is too much for you.
But I do want us to be better. I want you.
All that I’ve been writing about, all of my ranting – it wasn’t because I wanted anyone else. It wasn’t because I really wanted to leave.
I want you. But I’m just not always sure if… I mean, you still don’t make my heart burn. Not the way that I think it should.
But I want you to be the one to make my heart burn like that. I don’t want anyone else.
But for now, I’m going to hold back. I’m hurt, and I need to protect myself.
But I guess it’s not fair if I’m hurting and you don’t know, is it?
And how exactly do I express this to you anyway?