• Realization

    by  • November 10, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    After all of this writing and crying and thinking and crying – I realize that it’s really you that I want.
    I don’t want to leave. I don’t want a divorce. I don’t want us to separate or find someone new.

    As much as sometimes I’m not sure if you can always be who I need, it’s you that I want.

    I just want us to be better, babe.

    Yes, I am still going to hold back on my affection – not denying you when you kiss me, or hug me, or want to touch me. I just won’t be the one to initiate. I’m still going to hold back, because I don’t know when is too much for you.
    But I do want us to be better. I want you.

    All that I’ve been writing about, all of my ranting – it wasn’t because I wanted anyone else. It wasn’t because I really wanted to leave.

    I want you. But I’m just not always sure if… I mean, you still don’t make my heart burn. Not the way that I think it should.

    But I want you to be the one to make my heart burn like that. I don’t want anyone else.

    But for now, I’m going to hold back. I’m hurt, and I need to protect myself.

    But I guess it’s not fair if I’m hurting and you don’t know, is it?

    And how exactly do I express this to you anyway?

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