• Paradise Papers: Bono continues to be the biggest turd in the world

    by  • November 7, 2017 • * Safe for Work * • 2 Comments

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    2 Responses to Paradise Papers: Bono continues to be the biggest turd in the world

    1. Mia
      November 8, 2017 at 8:11 am

      Curious as to why you think you know this person enough to judge them. It says a lot about who you are and it ain’t good.




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    2. @ Mia
      November 9, 2017 at 8:16 am

      Hi Mia,

      Thanks for your kind reply!

      I wished I could, but very sadly, I cannot take any credit for describing Bono as the largest turd in the world, this honor, original idea and fine achievement belongs to one of the brilliant creators of South Park, Trey Parker.

      My post in regards to the ‘ Paradise Papers’ is referring to “More Crap” , the ninth episode of the eleventh season of the animated television series South Park, and the 162nd episode of the series overall.

      It was originally broadcast on Comedy Central in the United States on October 10, 2007. In the episode, Stan’s father Randy produces what is apparently “the biggest crap” ever taken, but his claims for the world record are challenged.

      “More Crap” is a highly scatological episode of South Park, with the entire plot and many of the jokes revolving around fecal matter in some way. It is one of the very few episodes where Cartman, Kyle and Kenny did not appear. The episode satirizes U2 singer Bono for “seem[ing] like such a piece of crap” despite his talent, achievements and humanitarian work. The plot of “More Crap” satirizes the competitive nature of trying to become the record-holder in a peculiar category. It parodies elements of the 2007 documentary The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, which is about the competition for the biggest high score in the arcade game Donkey Kong.

      The episode aired shortly after South Park received an Emmy Award that year for the episode “Make Love, Not Warcraft”. A running gag in “More Crap” makes reference to the show’s Emmy-winning status, during especially scatological scenes.

      Plot:

      Randy is suffering from severe constipation and has been unable to defecate for more than three weeks. After taking a laxative, Randy produces an abnormally large piece of excrement during an extremely painful bowel movement. Believing he has passed the world’s biggest stool, he reaches out to the “European Fecal Standards and Measurements” office, headquartered in Zürich, Switzerland. The institute concludes he has the world record, weighing in at 8.6 courics – a fictional measurement unit (approximately 2.5 pounds) named after journalist Katie Couric. As Randy is the first American to ever receive the award, the American government holds a ceremony to honor his achievement. However, it is interrupted by a video of Bono, the previous record holder, claiming he has just taken a crap weighing 9.5 courics, and is therefore still the record holder. His claim is accepted, despite protests that his only proof is an unverified photo.

      Randy is saddened by the loss of his record, and his friends convince him to train hard and reclaim the position. After three weeks of eating, an ultrasound reveals his feces have reached about 14 courics in weight. Bono successfully demands Randy be required to pass his stool in Zürich. This prompts Randy’s son Stan to visit Bono’s mansion and ask him to relinquish the first place record, saying Randy has never won anything in his life, unlike Bono. However, Bono angrily refuses to be “number two” at anything. Bono’s butler takes Stan to Zürich and informs him of the truth – Bono set his record in 1960, the year he was born; Bono is not the record holder, he is the record itself.

      Everybody is gathered in Zürich, where the institute’s leader explains he produced the world’s biggest crap in 1960 and was so proud, he raised it as a child. Over time, it grew up into Bono, explaining why Bono can help so many people through his humanitarian work while still seeming “like such a piece of shit.” Bono’s father says that even though Bono faked his newest record, Bono himself is over 80 courics in weight, and thus is still bigger than Randy’s old record or any other feces in the world. At that moment, Randy finally produces a bowel movement so large it lifts him several feet off the toilet seat and is estimated to weigh more than 100 courics. Randy is hailed as the new record holder, as an institute member pulls the “advertisement” Emmy image off the screen and presents it to Randy by lodging it in his feces.

      (Thank you, Wikipedia, for that summary! )




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