I dnt know where am gng wrong, dng everything but in the end am still not happy. Taking care of the smallest of things and even then it seems worth nothing. I dnt seem seem to have feelings anymore everything died down the day things changed. I honestly tried everything but nothing worked. I left trying at some point, that is when I did things that made me happy being lonely, volunteering, meeting people who I could at least interact with be it once a week. Clicked my own pictures cz I thought may be I looked pretty that day, may be he would look at me..how silly it never happened.
I still tried, waiting to see it happen, I still wait. Taking therapy never helped, I felt more pathetic talking abt my situation. I asked God a millions times why me…waiting for an answer till now. May be I did something really wrong and deserve much more.
I dnt blame him for it, I accepted it that he is like this..rare to find such people though. Am happy for a week and back to being sad again. At times I feel suicidal but then I realize there are a lot of people who die with the end of one person or may be am scared of death? Dnt know.
He isn’t bad, he gives me everything, cares for me but something is missing and he knows it. I wonder if he is even trying to change himself because he knows he is different. Or am I being selfish asking him to change…