• How do I tell you?

    by  • November 4, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 1 Comment

    How exactly does one tell their husband they’re bored with the marriage?
    We’re in 2 years now.

    I know that over time, stuff happens. And I’ve had those “are we sure we made the right decision” type thoughts every so often. But it’s especially troubling now that I feel this way.

    Sex is always a rush for you. Sure, maybe it’s because we don’t have a lock on our door yet, and maybe it’s because we don’t want anyone to hear us. But even when we had our own place, it was like this. You make excuses to say it’s because of this or that, but really it’s just that my libido is much higher than yours, and you’re quite vanilla. I’ll suggest this and that to try in the bedroom, and it’s a no.
    Same positions, over and over. Sure, I joke with you. But honestly, I don’t even want sex so much now, because I’m bored.

    Maybe it’s because I actually had certain expectations that weren’t met. Maybe we rushed into this.
    Not saying I don’t love you. I do. But this gets to me after awhile.

    Have you noticed that I kiss you a little less? There’s actually a reason for that, honey.
    I know I am very affectionate – I love to give hugs and kisses all the time, and at any time. But now… I know you haven’t really rejected that, but I know that I’m too much. And I don’t want to kiss you as much because I don’t know when it’s too much. And also, I just don’t feel too that much anymore.

    Not saying you don’t love me. But was this a mistake?
    And this sucks because our families are so involved. There’s a lot to lose if we end this.

    I always feel like I’m usually the one making sure our relationship is okay and such, and it’s probably because I am. Because I just don’t think you care as much as I do. And I’m not going to suggest counseling, because if you don’t feel we need it, you won’t try.
    Do you even read anything, or listen to any for our advice, about guarding your marriage or how to make it grow? I don’t even know if you understand that.

    I think that if I tell you flat out that I’m bored, and that this is what’s on my mind, you’ll be hurt. Or, (likely) you won’t take me seriously and think there’s something wrong with me.

    But babe, you don’t make my heart burn… In fact, in actually not sure of how much we have in common.
    You know that when I ask about your day, it’s because I’m genuinely interested. I love to know what’s on your mind, and talk about random things like theories and life. That type of deep conversation, pillow talk type stuff. This stuff is important to me.
    But you’re not like that.

    I always wondered if when you came to Canada, you’d leave me because you’d find someone more compatible (since you’ve said the reason I piqued your interest is because I had some interest in gaming – which I’m not much interested in anymore). But I’m still here wondering exactly how compatible we are. I tried not to have any expectations, but I did. And even if we try to work on things, I don’t want to try to get certain things out of you if it’s not there in you already, because then you’ll just be resentful.

    I’m also trying to think about ways I could be better in this. I keep thinking, “you, you”, but there’s “me” too. And I’m willing to work, if you’re willing to try. If this is actually something important to you.

    Maybe I will tell you. And if I do, maybe I’ll give it a year for things to change or get better. And if it doesn’t, not sure what’s next..

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    One Response to How do I tell you?

    1. Britney
      November 5, 2017 at 12:46 pm

      Wow sorry author you feel like this. It seems sex has turned into a routine action. Not sure if this might help but maybe you can make a few changes for both of you. You say there is no lock and it feels so rushed. Rent a cabin or hotel room and find a place with privacy and try again. Make foreplay key. No wham bam thank you type activity. I’m sure it will be a blessing to you both. Best wishes!!!!!



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