What can I say? How can I deal with the now? I know what I did 3 years ago was so very, very wrong. Wrong for you, for me, us. How can I prove to you I always loved you and just fucked up so much? There are no words to tell you the regret I feel. I am so very sorry for the pain I caused. The endless pain- I am so sorry. I will live with it forever. No matter what happens now. I gave up on the true and only love of my life…. you. I made so many mistakes. These past weeks of being in touch with you. Of being with you intimately. You will never have any idea of how much it means to me that you are even talking to me. Never mind being with me. I have never, ever in my life felt what I feel for you. And I know I won’t ever again with anyone. You were and are “my person”. And you always will be. No matter what. I am so sorry I found you and let you go. I hate myself for letting you go, and I hate myself even more for not contacting you these past 3 years. There’s no excuse. I can tell you I was stupid, embarrassed and ashamed until the cows come home. But I should have contacted you. I should have told you the truth. I never should have let you hang out there without me. I am so sorry. I can only hope now you slightly believe me. And that you want to try again. Because I will never give up on you. Or us. Never, ever. I don’t want to live without you. I don’t feel like I can after these past 6 weeks. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to the one person that matters to me – you. And yes I should have made this declaration years ago. I miss you so much. I hope you will give me another chance. But the past is something we need to both want to work through. The present and how we treat each other is real. And I can’t accept you being with someone else. Come back to me. So we can both have what we need and want. I know you love me and I love you so very much. So much.