• To my desire and my giver of pain

    by  • October 27, 2017 • To You • 15 Comments

    Dear lady who was once a dream of mine,

    Our lives are entwined for some reason and whether you care or not will be forever linked by negative forces.
    Why you felt you needed to play with me as if I was a teenager again will always bother me. From day one you were creating the script that had only one outcome, complete disaster for me and no change in your world. You knew exactly how I felt about you and yet you led me on like a lemming to the sea. Why? First you dangled your sexuality and seemingly shared want only to change the entire narrative to be the “just friends” after I was ensured of wanting that second platter of you. Easy enough to have stated at the outset but you chose to give me a series of small tastes before slamming the bathroom door in my face and completely changing your demeanor towards me. It ain’t nice to fool with Mother Nature. I am not casting the first stone at you, that was reserved for myself. I was and continue to be a grade “A” douche and literally am disgusted with myself for getting on that merry go round yet again. Yes I know my failings but I now know how deep your hate for me runs. Has to be hate, why else would you have allowed me to travel that distance, take those risks, say and do the things you did to further my want and then just clip my balls off. You were wronged that badly that I was a good outlet? Nope!
    I was just another play toy to keep on the string for your own enjoyment. Jesus woman, what the hell did I do to warrant that treatment? Was I wanting to ravage your body? Yes I was! I wanted to eat every inch of you and didn’t hide it for a second. I was honest, a cheater and an asshole, but honest with you at least. Don’t ask me why you became this legend in my mind from when we got together many moons ago. I couldn’t honestly tell you if you were a good lover or not, I actually remember more about your tainted friend you hooked me up with than I do about you. She was a great lover. You had a perfect pussy and that I do remember like it was last week. A perfect mound of delicious pussy and maybe that’s all that’s to it. I wanted to see and taste that again. I know years and kids change the real estate but you had carved out a major place in my imagination and I have no regrets over wanting a second helping. With that said, would I have needed a tounge condom? Was that the hesitation? I don’t know, if yes thank you for saving me that indignity, I appreciate never getting a STD.
    So how do brass tacks taste? Like shit?

    Keep playing the innocent bystander and by the way I believe you were and are screwing a married guy already so fuck your bullshit “ I know how it feels” routine. That shit will blow up in his face if it hasn’t already. The bitch of it is, you will just step off the dick and sit on another.

    Well I have said enough with the exception of:
    “No surprise a perfect pussy should be a tool of a perfect cunt”
    Glad to have known you, not so much.

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    15 Responses to To my desire and my giver of pain

    1. author
      October 27, 2017 at 2:20 pm

      Words don’t hurt me. Your words don’t hurt me. No one’s does. I get it. You think in a cunt. That’s ok. I love you and always will. When I said it was unconditional, I meant it. I’ve been studying this site these last few days. Really studying it. I have learned a lot. I now see truth on what you see in me. This letter along with many others confirms it. I do hope you the absolute best in life.

      Love,
      Chinese Paper Doll




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      • Gone
        October 30, 2017 at 9:53 am

        Sorry, Chinese Paper Doll does not mean a thing to me. Not the right asshole your answering, I’m just one of a million a-holes out there. Peace and long lasting love to you.




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    2. Whoever this letter finds
      October 27, 2017 at 2:49 pm

      Open communication would have been best. You and I had our understanding. You let your thinking take over. You never fully trusted me and I never fully trusted you. We were new. We hadn’t learned enough of each other. I wanted to learn more of you and wanted to share more about me, but you shut the door on me exactly 2 days before by child’s father passed away. Not only had I lost a best friend to death, but I had lost you in life. You just disappeared. Wouldn’t answer my texts or calls.

      I can walk away the cunt in all of this if It puts your mind at ease. I say we both failed at communication. Equally.

      On that note, go find people you trust. Who knows may be later down the road we can reconcile. I do love you and have never stopped. If you were to contact me then I would love to get together and sort all of this out. If you never open that door again then I understand and will love you from afar. I have got to get back to living life. I’ve had it on hold. You are one of the most precious people I have ever had the pleasure in meeting.




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      • Gone
        October 30, 2017 at 9:46 am

        Nope, not I. I am very sorry you were hurt though, no shortage of pain on these pages.




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    3. S.O.S Same old Story-Same old song and dance
      October 28, 2017 at 8:03 am

      Holy shit dude. Your letter sounds like my mind. Got flipped the same way and I hate the bitch for it. We are one dumb species. I hope your exorcism felt good, worked for me!!!!!!!! I have been here ten times to write something about my “C” but could not get it going so I read some of the letters here and I don’t feel so alone. Yours popped right off the screen, I hope it helped. Good luck and thanks maybe I’ll try again.




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      • Gone
        October 30, 2017 at 9:51 am

        It was an exorcism and no it did not feel good at all. IT SUCKS!!!! The fact that i’m here writing about it so many years past is a testimony to how much I despised the event. My weakness at a really important time led me away when it should have drawn me closer to my life’s love. Good luck with your pain, get it in perspective faster then me please.




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    4. Britney
      October 28, 2017 at 3:06 pm

      Good story but I am having problems with the details. You say that she is married with kids and you craved an affair. You are nostalgic over the memories of her and a friend. Then you say she denied advances possibly due to an STD. So my question is if she denied your advances for that reason then why would she already be having another affair? If that even is the reason. Also not sure what brass tacks are but I’m pretty sure that unless they are in your ass they don’t taste like shit.

      Maybe she is not dick hopping as you say. Maybe she had a change of heart and decided her husband meant more to her than a “do over”. Maybe she realized that it was wrong. Or maybe she is married and having sex with several guys. I don’t know. I’m not married and I am not her.

      Just look at the whole situation from all angles before you start calling her a hoe. After all you are craving her. Maybe you should crave your wife like that. Sadly this is a huge reason I am not about marriage. Too many shady people in the world.

      Anyways, I liked the story. Hope it all works out for you. Maybe your wife and her husband should leave both of you because it seems to suck for them right now and everybody deserves to be happy.




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    5. Gone
      October 30, 2017 at 9:43 am

      Britney,
      Busy reply day for you. In order; never said she was married, had kids (grown)-friend was mentioned in reply to personnel reply earlier in this mess so I was not craving her friend, just her (at the time)-the other guy may or may not suffer from the same malady and not care-brass tacks is a return favor for her lying, manipulative ways that had me playing the fool-My wife and I are fine now,thanks for asking (a lot of work but fine)-shady people exist in one night stands as well young lady so being drunk with your knees pinned back is neither an excuse or a life plan. Could not care less if you enjoyed it, understood it, or paint it on your ass, it was a release long overdue and with this I close my LINS eyes forever. Good Luck Britney, truly, I really wish you a love that endures. I would not wish what I did on anybody. I was a selfish asshole who got kicked in the balls and deserved every painful second of it. Actually 5 years, that’s how long ago this 5 month saga was. The ghosts remained for a long, long time and I regret that as well. So if I seem harsh and rude, I know it does, it is not directed at you but myself.yet again.




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      • Britney
        October 30, 2017 at 11:11 pm

        wow that was a lot. Well the good part is you have moved past your problems. You are funny. The way you write. Also nothing wrong with sex added in your life plan. As long as you are up front and not deceiving the person pretending to be someone your not….like the cop that raped me pretending to be Steve. Well I said too much. Take care.




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    6. Grade A Douche Slayer
      October 31, 2017 at 4:46 pm

      Winner Winner Chicken Man Whore dinner! Aint you a fucking peach. Your wife must be hell stupid to stay with a bitch ass like you. You deserve your balls clipped and an STD to go with it. Karma is going to be your friend.




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      • Author
        November 6, 2017 at 4:28 am

        Yeah my wife is “hell stupid” genius. Walk a mile in my shoes asshole and whenever you feel like clipping bring it. It was a cleansing of my pain and since you have no idea of the history of this story, eat me. It was screaming in the dark libtard and since your of no consequence to me or anyone else, for that matter, you should just shut the fuck up. You really want no part of this, I know you have heard that about a million times before tough guy. Peace and love creeper.




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        • Bye Felipe
          November 11, 2017 at 2:50 pm

          Lmfao. Well when you put your shit on the internet for all to see and you get criticized for being a man whore, don’t cry. Pussy. Hella stupid is what I was aiming for but pussies can’t defend their point and must pick on spelling. I stand by my statement that you should become a enuch. Please never reproduce. What was screaming in the dark? I’m also a woman. Immediately go punch yourself in the dick and have a vasectomy. Wish your wife wasn’t blind. You deserve a good Lorena bobbiting ????




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          • Jazzman
            November 15, 2017 at 12:11 pm

            And I’m sure your big chicken fried steak eating ass could do it to. Go back to Walmart, buy a new sweatsuit and step out for some viddles. You could probably turn men gay with that sweaty, dimpled ass. Here it comes, “I’m hot you asshole”
            Sure all the boys at the bowling alley say that as your pulling down their fly. Fuck off cow.




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    7. the answer is staring you in the face
      November 3, 2017 at 12:25 am

      Everyone gets that it hurts to be sexually rejected especially if you happen to love and respect that person. But that wasn’t the case here by the sound of it. For you this woman was a’ mound of perfect pussy’ whose age and childbearing had damaged the ‘real estate’ but nevertheless you wanted a ‘second platter.’ And you just cannot understand what warranted her change of heart. Helpful hint: virtually any woman will,upon realising that you view her as a piece of meat , want nothing to do with you – simple.




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      • Author
        November 6, 2017 at 4:35 am

        Again, Dr.Phill checks in.
        Great!
        This women has spun a lot of men’s heads around through her lifetime and I am just wreckage to her. Sorry if my exorcism offended you, get over it. It’s what I needed and since she never will see it, bug off.




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