We have both made mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. I want to learn with you. You were often kind but not always.
It got to me that you wouldn’t tell me how you felt be it good or bad or any of your thoughts so when you acted oddly I didn’t know why. I just wanted to know where I stood and to know WE were okay. Because…. Because I was falling for you again and I, I didn’t know what to do,you seemed even more distant than usual.. And all i wanted was to let you in and get to know you. space was only a comfort when I knew we would be back in each others company soon. Self preservation got the better of me, I was scared you did not feel the same. Then you told me you were beginning to feel/think that way again too. But it was already to late. I’m sorry for how I acted.
In my heart I don’t want to give up on the idea of us completely because for some unknown reason this feels important. I don’t understand it myself and It is weird I admit. I’ve managed to get over everyone else why do you still play on my mind?
To wake to the touch of your skin on mine, feel the sensation of home again and help each other over these damn walls we’ve made.
It is madness to repeat the same action and expect a different result. We are both so stubborn. How many times have we reunited? I loose count it must be more than 3… Something had to give. We both pushed too strongly this time though. Now we have wandered too far from the flame have we not?
If by chance you read this know that;
You are still usually one of the first things to cross my mind in the morning and often the last to past before I fall asleep. I would walk with you through the darkest days if you’d let me because I know how bright it can be.
Fear and denial pushed aside.