• loves struggle

    by  • October 6, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Co-Worker • 3 Comments

    I have been in a relationship for 15 years. I love my girl but I feel the relationship is spiraling downward. I have fallen for an older coworker over the last 3 years. We have been through so much and have become really close. I know what everyone is going to say because she’s a coworker lol. I’m not ready to leave my girlfriend because she has stuck by me through everything, even though I’m not satisfied. As for the older coworker, I have never told her my feelings or made a move(although I know she knows I love her), I know she feels something for me but like me, she isn’t ready to destroy her family and I’m not ready to hurt the person who has been there for me. I would do anything to know what it feels like to have a first kiss and just hold her. I have tried to bury these feelings but every time I look into her eyes I’m reminded how It feels to be in her presence. I’m kinda stuck, sometimes I feel like I’m doing the right thing by doing nothing but its so painful. At least I am only hurting myself, I don’t think any advice will help me, but getting my thoughts out already feels a little better. I hope everyone on this site finds what there heart is looking for, even if its not what’s best for them.

    3 Responses to loves struggle

    1. Anonymous
      October 7, 2017 at 12:24 am

      You need to follow your heart. No matter what.

    2. Friendly Advice
      October 7, 2017 at 11:25 pm

      Brother. Friendly advice. Please, do NOT do it. I promise you it is not worth it. Although nothing I could say will stop you. I at least hope to give you pause. Please really think about this. You think its bad now. Just wait until you look in your girl’s eyes and tell her about someone else, that look of utter devastation and heartbreak in her eyes; you won’t EVER forget. And even if she ultimately forgives you, she’ll never take you back, because you destroyed the love and trust that, one, was there.
      Please, with an open mind, look at the signs and feelings of the word:
      “Limerence”… search it up on google.

      You think you love this co worker. But you do not. You never went through financial obstacles with her, deaths, children issues, health scares, etc. You only see this co worker in her, ‘best’. Its just a facade, brother. Its a lie. An illusion. And A HUGE deception. You are way, way, too smart to fall for it.

      Don’t do what I did. I thought I was in love. After 21 years of marriage. I thought I found my dream woman…I thought she was my eternal soul mate or twin flame. Two star crossed lovers, destined to be together, with only my marriage keeping us two apart.

      I was so incredibly wrong. The woman I worked with, whom, I thought I was in love with for almost 6 years; she was nothing like I thought she’d be. Meanwhile, I lost the REAL love of my life, my wife, my partner, my best friend. And even after two years, I still miss my wife, now ex wife-every damn day.

      And every day I wake up hoping & praying that it was all a dream and I didn’t fuck up my entire life for someone I hardly knew. But when I roll over and my wife’s not beside me, my heart drops because I realize this is now my life: without her in it. And I only have my self to blame.

      • @ friendly advice
        October 10, 2017 at 12:13 am

        It sounds as if you never had a truly sound relationship in the fist place, your wife not a decent supportive partner with an understanding of what life is really all about.

        Falling for s/o else is an indicator that something is sorely missing, is mis-matched, you settled for, not quite right in a relationship. Any relationship that is based on true emotions, real attractions or true connections, will not cause you to experience or develop feelings such as limerance or the like for a another person.

        To anyone who doubts this I say of ask any coupe that has been truly madly in love for many decades. Their answer will be that they only ever had or will have eyes for each other.

        My advice to the author and you would be to address your own issues, your suppressed self , address your subconscious, un-dig what’s been buried, learn who you really are. Go on a journey of self discovery.

        The wife you are missing sounds unforgiving and narrow minded, not an evolved human and unloving, not anyone worth missing, this the obvious reason why you were looking elsewhere for what was missing in your life. Good luck to both of you.

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