• I think I’m okay! (WvR)

    by  • September 21, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, Goodbye • 7 Comments

    Day 2, and I think I’m okay
    Not telling you how gorgeous you are,
    It’s so hard not to say!

    But I really feel calm, almost relieved.
    Like an enormous weight is lift of my shoulders.
    The weight of the love I had to carry for both of us.
    The weight of the decision I had to make.

    My heart seems okay with the choice my head has made.
    Maybe I’m not so bad and dark after all.
    Just maybe my soul is saved by letting you go.

    Go and live your life.
    Go and love your wife!

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    7 Responses to I think I’m okay! (WvR)

    1. JustMe
      September 21, 2017 at 2:47 pm

      Yeah let him go girl




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    2. Longing 4-WvR
      September 22, 2017 at 6:09 am

      Day 3, I’m not doing very well.
      Constantly looking at your pics and thinking about you ….
      I want to hit someone and jell
      The pain is crushing, but I gotta push through!




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    3. Longing for WvR
      September 25, 2017 at 1:36 pm

      Day 6, it’s been almost a week.
      Do you miss me like I miss you?
      Do you check for messages as much as I?

      I see you online and it’s so damn hard not telling you how breathtakingly gorgeous I think you still are….

      Do you think our believe that I’ve forgotten about you? Well my gorgeous beautiful I can tell you, I never will, I will think about you and carry you in my heart every day for the rest of my life.




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    4. Longing 4-WvR
      September 26, 2017 at 10:43 am

      Evening day 6. I can’t help myself …. as soon as something good or fun happens, I think “I should tell W” …. damn how I miss you …..

      Just before I broke of contact you wanted to search for a funny not so charming picture of me … well I found one and want to show it to you so bad ….

      I found a dress in the colour you told me to buy … I want to show it to you …

      You, you, you. It is driving me insane.

      I will stay strong, but my heart is o so weak.




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    5. Longing 4-WvR
      September 28, 2017 at 1:44 am

      Day 8, I could scream at you!! I want you SO SO badly. Why can’t I make you love me??!!

      I want to roll up on the floor and cry my eyes out!

      I want to scream, hit, punch …. whatever it takes to get rid of this feelings!! Why do I have these feelings, I’m to old for this sh*t, I can’t make you love me …. I get attention of lots of men daily but I couldn’t care less, I only want your attention.

      I see you’re online and I hope you will send me a message on the chat, but then again I wish you don’t. As soon as I see you’re offline and you didn’t send me anything, I want to scream at you. Me not texting you is me waiting for you to miss me…… I know I’m the one who ended the chat, but do you really REALLY think I wanted that. No I didn’t, I had to!!

      Do I ever cross your mind? Do you ever think of me and smile? Do you ever think of me and wish otherwise? Do you ever think of me and long for me?

      You told me, that now that I am open for new things, something or someone will cross my path …. You IDIOT!!! I’m only open for you. All these guys at the gym, with their amazing bodies, dark hair and blue eyes, smiling at me and craving my attention. I don’t want them I want YOU!!! Yes they are cute and handsome, but they are not YOU. I can’t explain why it has to be you, I just know so!!




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    6. Longing 4-WvR
      October 2, 2017 at 3:32 pm

      Day 11, I finally have the feeling I can breath a little bit easier. Missing you was a bit easier today. Only read our chat once and looked at your pictures just once …..

      Okay I think of you like 75% of the day, but the pain I feel in my chest is starting to get doable. I’m trying to focus on other things and I keep myself busy at work and in the gym.

      I will carry you in my heart for ever, I will miss you every day, I will love you with every breath I take, but I will manage until the day you decide to come and get me …….

      I LOVE you my gorgeous beautiful Wouter.




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    7. Longing 4-WvR
      October 5, 2017 at 5:42 am

      Day 15. More than 2 weeks past. Never ever would I have believed that I would survive 2 days without talking to you let alone 2 weeks!! I am pretty proud of myself.

      Focusing on my fitness routine and keeping close to my friends helps a lot! I miss you each fraction of a moment within a second, but it doesn’t hurt as much as the first couple of days!! I’m at the point were I can not look at your pictures, they bring tears in my eyes and I don’t want to keep making it more difficult for myself.

      The date that we will see each other once again is approaching slowly, but it’s coming. I will be at my very best and I hope you feel some pain of longing inside yourself, even if it will be a sliver of the longing I feel for you, I hope you will feel that pain. Not fair maybe ……. but I want to flaunt myself in front of you and know you cant do anything !! But than again, that is in your hands, you can do whatever you want with me whenever you want it, but you will deny yourself access to my body and I hope that that decision will hurt just a bit.




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