• An Apology – J2J

    by  • September 21, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 1 Comment

    I wonder if I make you uncomfortable sometimes, if you notice how much I like you. I try not to look at you too much, but it’s hard to find the line of appropriateness between acting overly enthusiastic toward you and excessive avoidance. I really don’t want to give off a creepy, might-be-a-stalker vibe, but I do want to make the most of our whatever. (Not sure it’s fair to call it friendship, but calling it a relationship seems even weirder – acquaintanceship? Is that a word?)

    I try to spread my attention around a bit and be friendly toward everyone, so it seems less like I’m singling you out. That might not be very wise, though, given that it’s mostly guys – and since men apparently are quick to read interest in a woman’s behavior (so the studies say), the end result may be that everyone just thinks I’m some kind of slut looking for a little side thing with every man in the place.

    So, anyway, if you’ve read interest in my behavior toward you, well… you’re right, I guess, and I’m sorry. I know it’s wrong on more than one level. I like you and I can’t help it. If it makes you uncomfortable, I’m even more sorry – that’s not my intention at all. And if you haven’t noticed, please disregard this whole letter. (What? I didn’t say nuthin’… You must be hearing things.)

    One Response to An Apology – J2J

    1. Author
      September 26, 2017 at 7:05 pm

      After today, I’m leaning toward the idea that I make you uncomfortable. Unskilled though I am at this kind of observation, there was a marked difference in your body language when I was sitting next to you versus when we were interrupted. You suddenly stretched out, and your body language became open and confident. Part of me would like to believe my proximity makes you nervous because you like me too, but… No, it objectively doesn’t really fit.

      I guess I’ll try not to impose my presence on you so much, though I unfortunately frequently forget these good intentions.

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