It’s so hard to watch you shoulder this by yourself. As we’ve grown closer over the years, it’s become heartbreaking to see you struggle to stay afloat. You are one of the most incredible people I have ever met. You have such a kind heart, and treat everyone in a way that makes them feel heard and important. You enter a room and laughter follows. You’re so brilliant, talented, brave.. You are good people.
We bonded so fast and easily! I’ve never quite had a friend like you.. someone with such a similar soul to my own. Almost as if we had met in another life. You are so great to talk to when something is wrong and you always share so much wisdom… and so much else. How many times have you gotten our bus back on the road? And your family… I love them like they are my own.
But… Seeing you pile up so much responsibility onto your back hurts me. You always tell me the ways in which you aren’t enough, point out the bad parts of yourself… how you aren’t a good enough husband or friend.. It hurts me to see you hold onto so much guilt and blame when you slip. Or when you can’t get a VW done in time.
I know you think about her every day. All the time. I know this time of year is difficult for you. I can only begin to fathom what losing her feels like.. but when I try to think what you must be dealing with it breaks my heart. I wouldn’t have been able to bounce back like you have. You have continued being the most amazing dad and husband, got promoted, and changed my life for the better.
It is ok to struggle. It is ok to lean on friends. It is ok to cut yourself some slack when it gets to be too much. IT IS OK TO NEED TO ESCAPE.
I just hope you know someone understands. I care about you. You are one of the good ones. If this is what you have to do to make it through the day.. then it’s what you have to do! I tend to react to situations in the same way, part of that i think is why we are such good friends.
Nobody else gets to tell you how you should or should not rebuild yourself from something that hurts you so much every day. Because in my mind, you are doing the best you can. Please don’t feel like you are failing, because you are not. You’re doing amazing. And you’ll always be my friend, my teacher, and my hero!
I love you!