• Please… You’re underneath everything I do.

    by  • September 16, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 2 Comments

    I don’t know if I’m obsessed or if there is something more, but everything hurts and its because I’m doing it for you.

    Everything I do has something to do with you. Even when I’m just admiring myself its because I admire you. That sounds creepy and its strange but that is the way it is.

    I just always have a link to you in everything I do. Sometimes the link makes me more emotional, sometimes I can ignore it.

    But no mater what I have done, it has not gone away. Its been almost two years, and the only thing that has changed is my rationality and stability.

    You still remain a hole in myself that I constantly wish to fill by one day finally meeting with you and keeping you.

    I don’t like you though. I’m so sad with who you are, with what you’ve done with yourself. I just want the you that’s hiding on the inside, I just want that. I hate that you’re malicious nature has ruined yourself.

    But despite me disliking you, that doesn’t make a difference. I only dislike you because I care for you so much that any mistake you make is a threat to yourself in my mind.

    Help me. I want your help, your companionship, and your support here with me. I know you can give me what I’m missing, because what I am missing is you.

    I just don’t have anything else in me but you. Everything I do, literally everything, has a link to you underneath. Because I MYSELF have a link to you. We are together, please let it be true.

    I love you.

    2 Responses to Please… You’re underneath everything I do.

    1. Anon
      September 16, 2017 at 9:19 pm

      You’re not the only one that have those feelings for someone. Talk to your person!!! They may feel the same way.

    2. Oh well.
      September 17, 2017 at 3:21 am

      I’m only malicious to you – and you know why. To everyone else, I have a generous lovely nature. You scarred me. But little by little what you did stops filling me with grief and anger and I’m taking tiny steps to never feeling hate or anger at all. I’ll always be connected to you – after all – you’re the reason I am in this city, doing this thing. If it wasn’t for you I’d have a steady job now in the sunny state and be with my kids. No wonder you think I’m malicious. Most of the time I keep thoughts of you in a box. Whatever. It has been nearly two years. There is no road to each other that I could ever see. I have self respect.

      On a lighter note – I hope you can one day be free of your person and find someone you love just as much, who isn’t malicious. Good luck.

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