You have never told me you aren’t interested. But you have turned me down. More than once I seem to have offered myself up to you, while under the influence and you have turned me down.
Then you act like it never happened. You continue on with whatever this is. Thats cool, but confusing. What am I supposed to think? I am constantly in fear that you are annoyed or angry with me. I am constantly worried about it. But you just seem to talk and chat and hang out. Not like you used to, though. Somehow I don’t feel like we are as close as we once were. I guess I freaked you out with my intense portrayal of my feelings for you. I am sure I made you very uncomfortable. If that is it, feel free to convince yourself that it was just the booze talking.
I can not do this anymore, but I can’t seem to walk away either. You don’t want me. Obviously, not in any capacity other than basic friends… not even close friends anymore. I don’t feel close to you at all anymore. But that’s okay.
I have to stop this cycle. I have to stop thinking we have a connection. We clearly don’t. Every time I think we do, I end up doing something foolish and then you back away even more from me. I have to let go before I lose you in all ways forever.
I’m sorry for how I make you feel.